As much as I love being married, being married is not easy and can be messy. The messes of marriage sometimes need to be cleaned up. It takes a lot of work to have a healthy, thriving marriage. With everything we have going on in our everyday lives, it becomes easy to put our marriages on the back burner.
We can find ourselves spending more time trying to get our kids to their next soccer game, than focusing on the needs of our marriages. Our marriages may appear to have order and is working, but it is not being cared for as it should. No one wants to admit that at times some areas of their marriage is a mess.
So just like during spring-cleaning our homes need tidying, to be well ordered and cared for, so may our marriages. Clearing out of the things that may be preventing us from having the wonderful marriages we all want. So here are three ways to help you tidy up your marriage.
1) Make Your Marriage A Priority
Tidying up your marriage starts with you making a decision to make your marriage a priority.
But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,
Ephesians 5:13 (ESV)
When something has light focused on it, it becomes visible and you focus on it. That should be the same way with your marriage. It is easy for our marriages to become routine and lackluster.
Yet, our marriages, like our lives, should shine brightly. Your devotion to God and each other should always be visible. The covenant relationship you share with your husband and God should always be a source of light and be a priority.
2) Be Transparent With Each Other
Tidying up your marriage also involves being open and honest with each other. We all have ‘stuff’. Things we may be dealing with that we rather keep to ourselves. Or things that we think if we tell our husbands, they may look at us differently. Yet, it is those very things that we need to share with each other in order for us to remove some of the clutter in our marriages.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
James 5:16 (NLT)
Being completely transparent is not always easy, but necessary. My husband, Eric, and I recently attended a marriage retreat hosted by our church that for us probably changed the course of our marriage. The retreat encouraged us to deal with some of our ‘stuff’. We realized we both had been afraid to approach each other because of how the other may react.
Yet by coming together, being transparent, talking, and praying, we had a weight lifted off our marriage we never realized was there. So as uncomfortable as it may be, being transparent is necessary. It allows you to tidy up some the ‘stuff’ that may be cluttering and weighing on your marriage.
3) Show Each Other Love Every Day
Finding a small way every day to make your husband feel loved, cherished, and supported can do wonders for your marriage. Tomorrow is not promised, so we have to cherish the days we have with the people we love.
Make the most of every opportunity…
Ephesians 5:16a (NLT)
Every day is a new opportunity to do something new. A new day to show your husband that not only do you value your marriage, but you value him and all he does. How this is done is completely up to you and should speak to your husband’s love language.
Something as simple as sending him a text in the middle of the day saying, “Just wanted you to know that I love you and am so proud of you! ?” or buying him his favorite sweet treat the next time you are grocery shopping. Taking the opportunity daily to show your husband that you love him is a great way to take better care of your marriage. If you would like your own copy of the love coupons pictured above, just head here.
Marriage may not be easy and takes work, but it is so worth it. Taking the time to tidy up your marriage may be the best spring-cleaning you have ever done.
I’d love to hear about how you plan to tidy up your marriage in the comments!
These are some awesome reminders! It’s easy to let “busyness” get in the way of tending to our marriage. I’m going to do something today to make my husband feel loved. Thank you for sharing!
That’s awesome, Edie!!! Doing the little things that matter can make a world of difference. Showing love to our husbands is not only for them, but it touches us as well. ?
Such a great post. We will celebrate our 9th anniversary in 3 weeks and 16 years together in November. We made a commitment early on before we had kids to keep our marriage first. Our oldest is now almost 4 and it has definitely helped our family relationship.
Thanks, Candice, and congrats on 9 years! ? Making a commitment to keep your priority early one definitely helps you keep everything in perspective as you start to have kids. Kids are such a blessing, but so is our marriages. ?
We all go through things in life. I feel like I have needed to ‘tidy’ my marriage. We went on our first date night since like forever… Kids and life get in the way and its important to remember how and where we got here. Thanks so much for this blog post!
That’s awesome that you got to have a much needed date night with your hubby, Susie. Life and kids can definitely get in the way, but as long as we don’t let them stay in the way of making our marriages a priority is what matters most. ?
Great tips Ayanna! Ive found that sending simple, encouraging texts to my husband throughout the day can make him feel so much better during a stressful day.
It’s amazing how little things can mean so much, Davi. It’s awesome that you take the time to encourage your hubby, especially during stressful times. I try to do the same thing with mine. A simple text of “Just want you to know I love you and am so proud of you! ?” goes a long way.
Great ideas! A healthy marriage takes so much work and commitment!
This is great advice- thanks for sharing. I always love reading your blog. Hope you have a great weekend!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Jill. I hope you have an awesome weekend as well. ?
Wow Ayanna you spoke to my heart and I needed to be reminded of these tokens if appreciation and love. I always look to see if my husband is fulfilling th, but now I’m focus on me.
I’m so glad this was able to speak to you in a real and powerful way, Alexis. It is so easy for us all to get caught up in focusing on what our husband is doing or is not doing. It takes a lot of courage to look at ourselves. But when we do and realize the only person we can change or make do anything is ourselves, it opens our minds and hearts to so many things. I have also noticed when my hubby sees I’m putting my all in and often going the extra mile, it encourages him to do the same. ?
All three are great tips! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Rolene, for stopping by! ?
Ayanna, I love these 3 steps! They are crucial to keep a marriage thriving. I must admit though they aren’t always easy!! We have 5 kids and it’s easy to let that be an excuse. But we have determined to make it work and schedule regular date nights! Thanks for these tips!!
With five kids I can only imagine how hard it can be, Alisa. I’m glad that despite it being hard, you are both committed to putting in the work necessary to keep your marriage a priority. Just seeing an upcoming date night on my calendar makes me smile. ?
Great post Ayanna! I love the transparency one. Transparency draws you closer. Being transparent with my husband has helped me grow so much. And it allows him to properly cover me as his wife. Love it!
I love these suggestions! Making our marriage a priority is HUGE. I love the idea of writing dates in a planner. Then you know that day you will spend uninterrupted and committed time with each other.
Thanks, Lauren. Setting dates with your hubby is huge too. You can tell a lot about a person about the things they make time for. Making time to spend you hubby is always time well spent. ?
Thanks for the reminder 🙂 Life gets in the way and weaving little things in your daily routine is a great thing to do!
Yes!! Big gestures are great, but it’s the little things we do every day that often carries the most weight. ?
#3 matters so much! Love shouldn’t be “saved” for special occasions–it’s so important to look for ways to share love everyday!
Yes, Rachel! Love is an action and we should act in love at all times. We should never want our husbands to wonder if we love them, they should know at all times. ?
As always, excellent marriage advice. It’s great to tidy AND put back on the front burner instead of the forgotten one in the back. Excellent. 😉
Thanks so much, Shan. ? Keeping our marriages on the front burner with a “fire” lit under it at all times is so important.
Couldn’t agree more with all of your advice. Your marriage should be priority now and forever.
This is such a great post. Yes marriage need tidying , it some people once their married is enough, they expect things to go in it place and work out. What they don’t know it’s take two people to make marriage work and last forever . Saving this post to share to my husband . Thank you for sharing this lady.
Thanks so much for your kind words and sharing this with you hubby, Anna. And you are so right. We all get to a place in marriage when things seem good and we get complacent. However, we can’t let that happen. We have to put the work in to keep our marriage healthy and forever. ?
All of these are so true, you should do totally write a pre-marital boot camp book !
That is an awesome idea, Bonnie! I’m totally going to take that a run with it. Thanks hun!!!?
These are wonderful tips! They are so easy to do, too, especially when you’re in the habit. 🙂
Thanks, Kimberly. ? And one thing that I have learned is that it is the little things we do that often make the biggest difference. Making our marriages a priority in little ways every day is something we all can make a habit. ?
I love the idea of a marriage retreat. It’s so easy to just go into your own activity once the kids go to bed esp as a blogger! I spend too much time on social media
I totally agree! This is all so true! Being transparent is still something we constantly have to work on as well.. we both can deal with so much daily that we fail to share and that is so important to strengthening our marriage. Great post!
You are so right–marriage gets shoved on the back burner far too easily and stays there far too long. Especially once you’ve had kids. Thank you for this reminder to give my marriage a ‘spring cleaning’ along with my house and my heart.
This is great advice for any long term relationship 🙂
Thank you – such a great reminder for me being married almost 14 years- I love how you weave in the scripture too!
This is great! Who knew that your marriage needed tidying? Love it! 🙂