We live in a world full of contradictions. Where the truth we know and lies we shouldn’t believe are sometimes so similar, it is hard to tell the difference.
As a mom, I spend most of my day answering questions and separating right from wrong. Separating the truth from a lie for them is usually easy, however for me not so much. As a woman, the idea that the perfect family exists is one major lie we sometimes believe.
We believe that ‘She has a perfect life and the perfect family’. For each of us, there is a different ‘she’ and ‘she’ may not be just one person. She is just simply that person you look at and they always seem to have it together. She seems to always be smiling and her outfit is always stylish. Her kids are always well-behaved and her marriage appears perfect. Her family seems perfect and looks like they should be on the front of a postcard.
Then we turn to look at our own life and family and feel like we could never measure up. The truth is that there is no perfect family and looks can be deceiving.
For we all stumble in many ways.
James 3:2a (ESV)
Our stumbles and faults make us human. There are many days when smiling is the last thing I want to do and the thought of putting on real clothes makes me cringe. My kids are running around acting like I never taught them anything and let’s just say my husband is not my favorite person.
I am not the only one who feels like I am just not measuring up. Yet, the truth is that the ‘she’ in our lives doesn’t measure up either. She is far from perfect and stumbles just like we do.
God Created Us, Imperfections and All
God did not create us to be perfect or the perfect family. We all fall short. The key is that when we stumble, not to look at the ‘she’ in our lives, but to look to God. Knowing that you are far from perfect, but loving the life and light that shines from within you anyway.
Looking at the family we have as the blessing that they are. Accepting that having the perfect family is a lie and loving the family you have just the way they are. Knowing you are not perfect, but willing to strive to be the best you that you can be.
What part of the perfect family lie do you need to let go of?
I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
This is great. Growing up, everyone thought I had the “perfect” family and I sure knew that was a lie. Nobody is perfect and the fact that God can use us with that imperfection is all kinds of amazing. Great post.
When I find myself making comparisons, I start to count my blessings and take delight in them!
I let go of the perfect family lie when I was forced to make the decision to send my bonus son back to live with his mom fulltime. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever come.to grips with because I fully embraced and lived that lie for many years. Nothing is ever perfect, and that’s OK.
I always say, as a parent and wife, I am not striving for perfection, but I am striving to always see growth. Society can be hard on us and give us a false sense of healthy balance so your post is a great reminder that the perfection of the world is a lie.
Family is something you are born into and it will always be a work in progress. Definitely no such things as perfect only works in progress including in families!
Social media will jade you in the worse type of way. While I share our uber cute Christmas Cards I also share the mess. I want people to know that my kids fight just like theirs. I’m not different, and that is okay. Perfect doesn’t sell.
Yup! No one, no family… nothing is perfect. The greatest way to distract yourself from happiness and your blessings is to want for what someone else has. Great post.
Totally agree! Comparison if the thief of joy and need to continue looking towards Him instead of others for any sort of validation. I’ve known since birth that I do not have, nor will have, the “perfect” family and I am content with that now. I hope to one day meet all of my siblings, but I am still grateful for what I have.
This is a great post, Ayanna! I think that social media also leads people to think another person’s life is perfect. We post only what we want our viewers to see, so if we’re sharing the good, no one ever knows about the bad. I think it’s important for people to remember that not everyone shares the hard times in their life, so don’t judge a person as perfect. I like your point you wrote about not focusing on the “she” who we believe is perfect, but instead focus on God who is perfect indeed. This is something I am struggling with. I know God is perfect and I know I can look to Him in my hard times. But honestly, I find that I do not fully trust Him with my pain/hard times. I let my emotions get the best of me. I do pray regularly and I am a very strong believer in God. This is just something I am working on. Your post is something I needed to read this morning. Thank you!
I’m so glad this encouraged you and let you know you are not alone, Jennifer. The “perfect” parts of social media sparks my own love/hate relationship with it.
Our ability to trust God in hard and painful moments is something a lot of us struggle with from time to time. Yet, even in those tough moments when it seems easiest to pull away, we have to push closer. Allow God to do what only He can do and give you that peace that defies all understanding. My pastor always says “Faith that isn’t tested, can’t be trusted”. Stay in prayer and draw nearer to Him. Be Blessed!
This is a great post! I am sooo guilty of the admiration of what seems to be perfect. Even though I know everyone has there struggles, their things. With the family dynamics we have I am often overwhelmed and sometimes feel like I am being punished and wonder why me. But thanks for the gentle reminder found in this post. ?❤️?
I’m so glad it was able to speak to you Kenya. I think we all have those why me moments. I have way more than I care to admit. Yet, it’s in those moments where I have to take a step back and try to see what truly is the problem. What is overwhelming me? Or what is it about the ‘she’ that I’m looking at that I really admire. Most of the time if I can pinpoint whatever it is, then I can work on changing it or praying about it, and sometimes both. Be Blessed!
Good post! I don’t feed into the “perfect” foolishness. I know better than that. There was only one perfect man to walk the Earth, and that was Jesus. Our creator wanted us to be flawed. In our weakness, we should run to him and just lay our burdens down. Comparison is the enemy of progress. As long as we compare ourselves to others, we will lose. The only person I compete with is yesterday’s me.
Great post! We all need reminded to let go of our standards of perfection in our lives and realize that no one can live up to it! I’ve been making a real effort to let go of this in so many areas of my life and it’s definitely been the key to happiness for me!
Thanks hun and me too! I started to realize that I was losing sight of what I truly want and who God has called me to be. I was so busy looking to at the ‘shes’ in my life and not being grateful for the she God created in me. I’m so glad you have been able to let go of some of the standards of perfection in your life, it is definitely freeing.