One of the things I love most about my life are the people in my life. Whether it is my husband, daughters, friends, family, neighbors, or church family. Life is so much better when we get to do life with the people that matter the most to us.
We all have to be intentional about nurturing and protecting all the relationships we have. One thing that I have found to be necessary in every relationship is having boundaries. Every relationship needs boundaries to be nurtured and protected.
Boundaries have been around since the beginning of time.
But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden- except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.
Genesis 2:16-17 (NLT)
I believe God set boundaries for Adam and Eve regarding eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil for two of the very same reasons we need boundaries in our relationships. We need boundaries to keep things out, for Adam and Eve that was sin. We also need boundaries to protect what is within, for Adam and Eve that was their intimate relationship with God.
Every Relationship Needs Boundaries To Keep Things Out
By establishing what is permissible and what is not within our relationships it allows us to keep things we do not agree without. This is a big one in marriage and in parenting.
All of our marriages and families are unique and it is up to us to establish what is okay and not okay in our own homes. Just because we live in a culture that feels everything should be permissible does not mean we take the same position in our relationships or our homes.
For example in my marriage, we do not have any friends of the opposite sex that we spend time with alone or that we communicate extensively. This is not to say that men and women cannot just be friends, but to keep the potential of or appearance of inappropriate actions out of our marriage, we have that boundary in place.
Things that start out as innocent do not always end up that way. Just like for Adam and Eve, by setting boundaries we are guarding against sin from entering into our relationship.
Every Relationship Needs Boundaries To Protect What Is Within
By establishing what is permissible and what is not within our relationships also allows us to protect that relationship. This is a big one for all of our relationships.
Whether it is letting your kid’s soccer or baseball coach know that your child will not be able to make any early games on Sunday because of how important attending church is to your family. Or not being able to attend a meeting at work because you already scheduled some vacation time with your hubby. Or having to decline co-leading that small group at your church this semester because your work, family, and church calendar is already full.
The boundaries you may need to set in your relationships may be numerous and vary, but the reason behind establishing them remains the same. Keeping things out and protecting what’s within your relationship is important. I can admit setting boundaries and having to say no to things and people is not always easy, however it is necessary.
I’d love to hear about some of the boundaries you have had to establish
in some of your relationships in the comments!
My husband and I have set boundaries in our relationship as well! I love knowing that we are on the same page when it comes to parenting, loving and our relationship with God. Thank you for being so open mama!
You are so welcome, Lauren. ? I’m so glad that you and your husband already have healthy boundaries in your marriage because having them is so important. ?
Boundaries are so important and it starts with communication. Having open lines of communication really makes it easy to know what boundaries both you and your partner need.
Yes, Theresa! Communication is key in every relationship and in so many areas of our relationships. ?
What a great reminder to think about your priorities before life happens. It’s so easy to end up doing things you don’t want to do simply because you didn’t take the time to draw the line in the sand and articulate what is important to you. Thanks!
So true, Tara. Taking the time to set healthy boundaries in the beginning and as needed any realtionship is so important to having a healthy realtionship. ?
Couldn’t agree more about have boundaries. My daughter calls them bubbles or in my space. Certain things we don’t discuss even with good friends.
This has been a work in progress for me! Appreciate your encouragement.
These are great reasons, and I couldn’t agree with the more!!
I’m so glad, Sohia, thanks! ?
So true. Healthy boundaries don’t block us off they allow for better relationships!
Yes, Jennifer! Healthy boundaries are definitely needed for great relationships. ?
I love how authentic you are! I really love this post and will carry your words with me in the future in my own relationship!!! – @caleeshea
Amen! I am recently realizing the importance of bounties in friendship. This affirmed lots of what I’d been thinking.
I love your comment about needing boundaries to keep things in! So often we think about boundaries as a way to protect yourself from the outside, when it is just as important to protect the inside.
it is sometimes hard to say no to things but i think once the boundaries are set and understood, it gets so easier.
Ayanna, thank you for this article. I loved when you said that boundaries are necessary to protect from within as much as keeping unfruitfulness out. Pinning and posting on my Facebook fan page. Tania from TheodoraLove.
I agree with this, Ayanna. It’s a very important reminder that I need to put into practice!
Setting boundaries is a tough part of life for me. My problem is that I am too private and closed off pertaining to my life that I can’t figure out a happy medium.
I totally agree!! One of the biggest culprits are involvement from family members too! Guard your marriage from any invasions!
This is such a good post and a reminder. Couldn’t agree more with you. Self love above all.
So very well said. I am a big believer in the same. Glad you put it to words.
Such a great post. Each point is noteworthy. Relationships do need boundaries.
SO important that if we find something good – that we keep it together!
I believe that ever relationship needs boundaries too. For example, I set boundaries with my family and my son. I don’t want them doing certain things or teaching him certain things that I don’t believe in, so I made it clear that we do not do that.
Yes!!! Boundaries are pivotal to healthy relationships!!!
I love this! I definitely think boundaries are important and love your example of not having close friends of the opposite sex. It can definitely drive a wedge into a relationship if you let it.
We have very similar boundaries in our marriage! It is so important to create these boundaries together.
Yes, Anne! Setting boundaries in marriage together is key. ?
I love this.. I have found myself having to do this more in friendship. It is so helpful to my sanity and to the relationship staying healthy.
Thanks, Jehava! Setting boundaries in friendships aren’t always easy, but definitely necessary for healthy relationships. ?
Love this, Ayanna! I think many times when we think of boundaries we think of what to “keep out” but I love how you pointed out the importance of keeping the good in too–guarding our gates. 🙂
I think you’re absolutely right! I like your point about boundaries being different then the culture we are living in. We have the same kind of boundary in our marriage, but other people don’t always understand it. Thanks for your wise advice and encouragement!
I think that my husband and I set boundaries for our family whenever we say no to something that we don’t have time for. We try to make family time the most important time in our lives.
This is a great reminder to addressing and preventing a potential problem, or problems. It’s important to make sure that everyone is on the same page, and of course compromise is a part of that journey!
You are so right, Larissa. Compromise is a large part of all of our relationships. There is so much give and take required to make our relationships work. ?