{You are in for a treat with a little ‘Tea with E’. Where my hubby, Eric, stops in to guest post and give us a little peek into the male perspective.}
Most husbands carry an innate weight as providers and protectors for their families. When we sense others are discouraging us in these areas or having a sense of failure within ourselves it can be problematic. Especially, when we can directly pinpoint a decision or action we took that resulted in failure.
As wives, it’s so important for you to give encouragement, forgive, and stay committed even when you feel your husband is a failing as a husband. That doesn’t mean accepting his behavior or failure, but we need to know that despite it, your love remains.
1) Your Husband Still Needs Encouragement
It is challenging for most men to reflect on their failures. Yet for me, and most husbands these experiences have made us stronger and allowed us to see the role our wives played in overcoming. Whether wrestling with my role as a provider through unemployment or several interviews not landing the job I desired.
Ayanna’s encouraging words and expressions of love were instrumental to my professional advancement. Sometimes it can seem that everything is stacked up against us and we need to be reminded of who we are as men and elevated, especially when we fail!
2) Your Husband Still Needs Forgiveness
Failures can also come when dealing with or not dealing with conflict correctly. Dealing with our in-laws can often cause conflict and be sensitive situations. I’ve had challenges as a protector dealing with family conflict. Upon marriage, your immediate family changes, and your priorities should change. This realization often comes later.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
This can be a harsh truth and reality because of the shifts in priorities. However, this is God’s intended design. Failures, like managing family conflict, often requires forgiveness. Mistakes will be made along the way, so having a forgiving heart and mind is essential to your husband overcoming failure.
3) Your Husband Still Needs To Know You’re Still Committed
Unfortunately or fortunately, a family conflict landed us in marriage counseling. Even though I was not directly involved in the conflict, I should have been more assertive and intervened. The biggest mistake or failure I made was not providing the security my wife needed. I failed to demonstrate that I had her back regardless of the offender.
This is something many of you may have experienced as well. In the midst of this storm, we continued to communicate and pray together. This is something that is so important for you and your husband as well. Sometimes as wives, you have to love and support even when your husband offends you or doesn’t do what he should. Wives and husband need each other when one fails so the other can help them up.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT)
You have to stay committed to your husband and marriage. I’m grateful to God and my wife for being able to forgive me, staying committed and moving forward.
When husbands fail inside or outside their homes, they need to sense their wives support and unrivaled commitment to them being able to right the ship as the servant leader of their family. So wives continue to pray, encourage, forgive and express your love to strengthen your husband!
I’d love to hear about your experiences when you felt your husband was failing as a husband
and how you responded!
Thank you for all of the great reminders! These are some wonderful tips to make it through tough times or even just to remind ourselves on the daily.
Great to hear this from a man’s perspective!
Thanks for the helpful tips
This is good and all very true. It is good to read a reminder of this sometimes.
It’s a real struggle not to make snarky comments or criticize. We need God’s grace every single day!
I absolutely love these! I know recently I have lost sight and have taken my husband for granted. It was an eye opener thankfully we are able to communicate pretty well and started fixing things right away.
What a great reminder and perspective that no one is perfect. we all have our faults and we need to work as a team. Great post!
Love this! I went through a period of feeling like my husband was truly a failure and just wasn’t in this. In the beginning, I was angry and a bit mean, but God began to deal with me and show me issues I needed to deal with within myself. As God dealt with me, He showed me the truth about what was happening with my husband and it brought clarity and healing.
When we’re in the thick of hard times in marriage it can be hard to read things like this, but we need to be constantly reminded of all the points you wrote. It isn’t always easy to honor and respect our husbands but then again I’m not always easy for my husband to love, but God asked us to love and respect each other in marriage. Thank you for this! It helps to hear these things from others, especially when I fail to remind myself and build myself up in these truths!
This is a great post with much needed reminders. Thank you for sharing.
Oh my goodness, what a powerful message. It sounds like you two have a wonderful marriage. I love seeing this from your perspective. Marriage is all about working together. My hubby and I have been married for almost 4 years. While we get along 99% of the time, we have had a few times where we got upset at each other. We had to remind each other that we are not perfect and just need to communicate better. Forgiveness is so important.
Very insightful post. It is always important to lovingly support your husband.
This is such a hard topic. I would hate to hear if my husband felt I was failing as a wife.
This is a beautiful post and it definitely opens up a new perspective. Like they say “walk in their shoes before you judge someone.” Husbands go through a lot and sacrifice a lot too. We just need to stand by them as much as we need them to stand by us 🙂
I love that your husband contributes to your blog and with such insightful and helpful info for other couples!
What a great post. Anytime you back your marriage up with God’s Word it is best. God’s Word always gives wisdom, direction and encouragement. Thank you for the reminder to encourage our husbands, sometimes I forget to myself.
Communication is key! A lot of the times I feel like my husband is failing me is because I’m not telling him what I need. He’s not a mind reader and I have to remember that.
I love that you took the time to write such a wonderful and encouraging piece! My husband and I are only celebrating 6 years but in that time we have been so immensely blessed to not have had any issues. We don’t like near any family, so we depend only on eachother. I will be keeping this post in mind should we ever encounter any issues in the future though!
Thanks for sharing. Such a honest and truthful article. And a great reminder for me to keep my communication channel open with my husband.
One of my favorite books has been The Power of a Praying Wife. I’ve come to recognize that the times I least feel like praying for my husband is exactly when I need to! Great article and reminders!
I totally agree with these tips! I believe our husbands need our support, encouragement, and praise even if we have to look hard to find the good. I’m thankful for my husband who is like Superman to our family. Not perfect – but he’s definitely my best friend and a wonderful father!
I couldn’t agree more! I love that this is from a husband’s perspective.
I applaud you putting a real life problem out there, with loving options on what to do next. Marriage, as I tell my young engaged daughter, loses its glow sometimes. It takes work to keep that love alive, and these are great reminders
Great tips. Its so easy to only look inward, especially during hard times. It’s a constant learning curve.
This is good. I don’t have a husband yet, but I love to find out how marriages work and what it takes. This is a great reminder that men have needs and encouragement, too. We shouldn’t dwell on the failure but focus on helping to keep him standing tall.
This is a topic I don’t think I’ve seen discussed very often. Thank you for putting this out there – and from the husband perspective! There was a time I felt my husband wasn’t listening to what I was saying. He would multi-task when telling him how my day went. I sat him down and we discussed it calmly. I told him I need him to make eye contact and nod to acknowledge he’s listening. Turns out my “stories” were too long for him so we decided whenever I do have a story I’ll ask him if he wants the “boy version” (a few sentences) or the girl version (every little detail imaginable). It’s worked great for us!
Thanks Marilyn for sharing! That’s a great example of discovering the level of communication that each of you desires to support one another. Glad you enjoyed the post. E
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it from the husband’s perspective! I really needed to read this article today because my husband lost his job and it has been tough. Your advice is going to help me in supporting him and standing by his side. You have no idea how much this helps me right now!!! God is so good for blessing me with your article! God bless you guys!!
Thank you Jennifer! To God be the Glory! I love His divine nature in how He can use our brokenness and experiences to speak life and encouragement for others throughout different seasons. He’s always on time, just glad to know you were blessed. Your testimony made my day and a reminder of the importance of sharing life experiences with others. E
Awesome advice. I needed that today!
Glad you were blessed by the post Hillary! You’re welcome. E
Yes – the sense that your partner has your back is a big one. Even during times of failure. It is a real plus positive.
I love the biblical encouragement and reminders of how to treat your spouse when times feel tough. As a married couple, we are just two sinners saved by grace, but sometimes our unrealistic expectations creep in and cause all sorts of disappointments. Thank you for your approach to this topic.
Excellent message!!!!! I love this message and as women we need to know this side instead of expecting perfection. Thank you for the transparency of the up and down of your marriage and how to make it through the hard times!!!!