Being married is such a blessing. The beauty and intimacy we experience from being married is like nothing else. As I look back over the years and see all the growth in my own marriage, my husband, and myself, I cannot help but smile.
Yet as much as I love being married, love my husband, and see it as such a blessing. Marriage is not easy. It takes work. There are ups and downs.
Seasons of bliss and seasons of struggle. Times when you are loving, laughing, and enjoying life with your husband. At those times it is easy to find the joys, both big and small, and your marriage is thriving.
Then there are those hard seasons in marriage. When it is hard to find joy in your marriage. It is at those times that finding joy is most important because it can give you the encouragement you need. The encouragement you need to keep working on and fighting for your marriage in spite of the hard times.
Here are three ways you can find joy when marriage is hard.
When Marriage Is Hard, Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
It is so easy to get so caught up in your present circumstances that you lose sight of all you have already experienced and overcome together. Your relationship and marriage have not always been hard. There have been some amazing times that not only brought you joy then, but can still bring you joy now.
Enjoy the wife married as a young man!
Proverbs 5:18b (MSG)
Those times you enjoyed in the past can be looked back on with a smile and with joy. Especially when you look at the pictures and videos of times and seasons that may seem so far away.
Taking a trip down memory lane is something I do often. Both during the good and the bad times. It helps remind you of the good times you have had, the love that existed and still exist in your marriage, and the joy that can still be found.
When Marriage Is Hard, Remember This Season Will Not Last Forever
This is often easier said than done, especially when have been in a hard season for a while. Yet, we know that in life things change and we change. The different seasons of life we go through may last longer than we want them to, but they do not last forever.
For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)
Even if the struggle or hardship you are experiencing in your marriage may not go away or change, the growth and the change that occurs in both you and your husband can be a blessing. So you have to continue to trust God, seek God, and believe that this season will not last forever. There is joy found in that.
There is also joy found in the growth that is happing in both you and husband. Joy in how much stronger your marriage will be when you get to the other side of these hard times. And joy in knowing that you trusting, seeking, and believing that God will bring you through is also strengthening your relationship with Him.
Remembering that this hard season in your marriage will not last forever can often go hand in hand with taking a trip down memory lane. When looking back you see both the good and the bad times. And it that you see the evidence of how much God has brought you through and how many different seasons you have already been through.
When Marriage Is Hard, Plan Some Quality Time Outside Of The House
Taking the time to get out of your normal routine and surroundings can do wonders for your marriage, especially in those hard times.
So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 (NLT)
Just because you are going through a hard time in your marriage, does not mean that there is no fun to be had, happiness to experience, or joy to be embraced.
I do not know about you, but I often feel like a different woman when my husband and I are out together spending quality time. Away from our normal surroundings, routines, and our kids.
Your planned quality time can be as big or as small as you have the ability to make it. Whether it is a week-long vacation to a beach where you rest and relax. A weekend getaway to a nearby city for you to explore. Or it is a much-needed date night to a new restaurant. We have experienced these all in both good and hard times.
The place you go or the length of time you spend is not what is most important. What is most important is that despite the hard times, you are taking the time to pour into your marriage, reconnect, and enjoy some of the fruits of your hard work. The work you do inside of your home, outside of your home, and within your marriage.
There is so much joy to be found when we take the time to look. Whether it is taking a trip down memory lane. Remembering that this season will not last forever. Or taking the time to spend quality time outside of your house and normal routine.
Taking the time and putting in the work will help you not just find joy. It will also help you to overcome the times when marriage is hard and to have a stronger and healthy marriage afterward.
I’d love to know what you do when you are going through
a hard season in your marriage in the comments!
When people tell me marriage isn’t hard, I often wonder whether they are truly “doing” married life. It’s perfectly normal to have those ups and downs. I’m especially guilty for hiding away in my own shell when things get tough. I’m the praying one in our marriage. Sometimes I find it hard to keep going but after 32 years, I know it’s worth it!
Congratulations, on 32 years and your commitment to prayer and putting in the work.
Start and end your day in prayer beside your husband. Work on the rest after doing this.
I totally agree, Candy.
I totally agree with you! I’m sharing this post with a couple friends I know could benefit from reading it ❤️❤️❤️
Even when times are not hard, I enjoy reminiscing about early memories, especially of us in college. It’s a refreshing wave of renewed love and appreciation for my husband.
I also like the phrase “This too shall pass” because it applies to both the good times and the bad as a reminder to either look forward past the bad or to cherish the present good.
Having fun together is so important when marriage is hard. Often, it’s hard ot muster up the umph to push for it but it’s SO worth it!
Great tips for married couples everywhere, you have such great insights!
Love this post! Marriage IS hard and honestly I think that’s one reason why so many don’t last. These tips are great to help anyone get through a rough patch.
Marriage is not easy but it’s worth fighting for. It’s so important to keep those lines of communication open and take time out ( guilt free) and enjoy alone time. So great for bonding. Can’t wait for next trip with hubby!
All marriages hit hard times at some point and I love these tips to work through them – especially going down memory lane!
Girl, this is so good!!! Thank you for writing this!
Marriage is tough, even after a long time. Some days you really have to be intentional about finding joy!
My marriage is on year #22, I can verify all that you speak of! Staying focused on the best times when things aren’t at the moment, can get you through a lot of stuff.
I am going to have to do the whole memory lane thing. 🙂 We have been married 11 years and together nearly 20. It is so unbelievable to even think of all the memories we have made over the years. I will have to bust out the old photo albums and relive some of our favorite memories. Such a great idea~! I am so glad I take a ton of photos because my memory is pretty bad.
I totally agree that it’s easier to connect with your partner outside the house! When we’re at home, we’re always trying to multitask. It’s easier to focus when you’re away from all the mess!
This blog is so inspiring. Married couples should read this often. Thank you for sharing.
This is great advice. I’ve been married for 15 years and some years are harder than others!
We are going through our second season of raising children. (We had a baby when our older children were teenagers.) Unfortunately, it means the second round of parenting stress. Finding joy plays a big role in keeping your marriage intact. Thanks for the encouragement.
This is so true and important and you share such wonderful tips on keeping a marriage strong!
Thanks for your insight! It’s so easy for marriage to take a turn and before you know it you’re at a bad place again. I will keep your tips in mind. I think my favorite was getting away together. I need that so much in my marriage!
Me and the hubby have been through our tough times after 12 year of marriage. You are so dead on when you say that marriage is hard and the hard season wont last forever. There are ups and downs and its normal- you just have to get it through it.
These are great tips! As empty-nesters it is still important to take time to connect. The kids may be grown, but we aren’t retired and still have the stress and pressure of life. Communication and connection to one another are vital and keeping Jesus in front of it all is the awesome sauce!
Marriage can be hard but it can also be a great blessing and should be something we all constantly work on. Great post
This is such a beautiful post and so very true! Marriage can be tough and a lot of work at times 💕
Keeping your eyes on the Lord is important in marriage and in all things. Yet, with the distractions in our life and focusing on our circumstances it is sometimes easier said than done. Your post is on point and spending quality time together is a must!
It is such a blessing to have the Lord as our help in our marriages. Things are best when both the husband and wife keep their eyes on the Lord because He will never disappoint. Your point about reconnecting on a vacation is excellent. Little trips are so fun!
These are good tips. Thankfully, marriage hasn’t been overly difficult yet, but I know every marriage has those moments and I agree that these are good ideas!