Boundaries With The Opposite Sex In Marriage From Husband’s View

The complexity of our lives today does not necessarily afford us the ability to successfully navigate places, organizations, and activities without interacting with the opposite sex. Being wise and honest with our selves first and foremost.

Avoiding or escaping compromising situations. And listening to the needs of our spouse help create appropriate boundaries for our unique marriages.

Self-awareness is very important in terms of understanding our strengths and weaknesses as a person.

We have to recognize where we excel and areas where we may struggle given our life experiences. When it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, we should consider the context of our interaction as it relates to the objective, mode of communication, time of day, and location if meeting in person.

We have to accept the fact that everybody doesn’t have the best intentions. Sometimes we can be misled or manipulated. Jesus warns us to be wise knowing that we will be in the midst of evil.

Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.
Matthew 10:16 (ESV)

As a working professional that travels frequently, I interact with women very frequently and often one on one. I’ve been fortunate to have mentors that have been very transparent with me in how to handle and not handle such interactions. The concern of developing an inappropriate relationship that could disrupt my marriage, family, friendships, leadership in ministry and professional reputation are at stake.

It’s very important to not only be self-aware, but also recognize when there is an attraction. I’ve had experiences over the years where I could sense things may be trending in the wrong direction.

When it comes to escaping compromising situations, we should try to avoid them first. If unavoidable by way of working arrangement, ensure interactions are in a group setting to maintain respectful exchanges. Discuss your spouse and family to create an atmosphere of integrity and respect when it comes to personal relationships.

Also, have friends in your life that will speak truth. So you learn about the character of others and get a perspective on how others see you stay informed. I can recall a time when a friend mentioned to me that I needed to be careful because they could sense someone having their ‘eye on me’ so to speak.

I guess I was blind and the person wasn’t my type, but could definitely sense it upon their sharing. We have to be honest with ourselves and recognize temptation. Most importantly, when tempted, God is faithful to provide us a way of escape.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

Another way to ensure we honor our commitments is to listen to our spouse. There have been a couple of times where my wife Ayanna was uncomfortable with my interactions with certain women. Not because of an incident, but because she sensed a shift in intentions or discomfort.

I’ve known Ayanna for almost two decades and she has a spiritual gift of discernment, so that’s enough for me to honor her requests. If we choose not to listen to our spouse, we may potentially disregard a warning and allow unnecessary vulnerability.

Wisdom and discernment are critical to navigating boundaries when dealing with the opposite sex. Taking the time to understand ourselves and ensure we are not dealing with individuals and situations where our weaknesses can prevail is important. Praise God for providing us a route of escape so we can flee when tempted! I frequently recall a quote from the late Pastor John Cherry stating, ‘A moment of pleasure can result in a lifetime of pain’. Let’s be wise!

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on how you
have navigated interactions with the opposite sex in the comments!