Do You Need To Reconnect and Here’s How

Have you ever felt lonely? Not just alone because we all need that. We all need time to ourselves to be still and just be. I am talking about those times when even if you are in a room full of people, you do not feel connected. Or you are sitting alone and feeling like you are more than alone, but lonely. We have all had those times when we have felt disconnected and at times lonely. Those are the times when we need to reconnect.

I have had more times like this than I care to admit. I can remember after deciding to become a stay-at-home mom. We moved across the country from Pennsylvania to Georgia because of my husband’s job. My oldest was in preschool and my husband traveled a lot for work.

After buying a house and connecting with our neighbors, we joined a great church. Also for the first time as an adult, I was living close to family. One of my sisters and my niece was just a 20-minute drive away. I was getting involved at church and exploring our new city. Life appeared to be good.

Yet with all the people around and all the activities I was involving myself in, I was still finding myself more and more disconnected. I was doing the right things and saying the right things. However, on the inside I was both disconnected and lonely. As a wife and a mom, it is so easy for us to become disconnected.

We can become so wrapped up in getting things done, getting our kids where they need to be, and showing up for our husbands in all the ways that we need to, that we lose true connection. It is often not until we either start to feel lonely or become totally disconnected that we even notice.

Then once you have noticed the loneliness or the feelings of disconnection, what do you do then? With these 3 steps, you can start to take the steps you need to go from disconnected to reconnected.

Step 1 To Reconnecting Is Acknowledge Your Feelings

This is huge! You cannot change what you won’t first acknowledge. This is also one of the hardest steps because it requires you to take the time to take your focus off of everyone else’s needs, wants, and your to-dos. Peel back the layers and take off the ‘superwoman cape’ so many of us wear too proudly.

This need to be connected is at the core of who we are and why we were created. God created us to be in a relationship and connected with both Him and others. Therefore by taking the first step in acknowledging your feelings and your need to reconnect allows you to start your journey. Your journey from lonely and disconnected to content and connected.

Step 2 To Reconnecting Is Discovering Where You Feel Disconnect

Now that you have acknowledged your feelings, you now have to determine where and from whom you feel disconnected. There are so many areas and people in our lives that you may feel disconnected from.

There have been times in my life when I have needed to reconnect with God, my husband, friends, family, and even myself. As a mom, having a child is a beyond blessing but it also changes you in so many ways.

I went from this career-focused woman and wife to a stay at home mom in less than 3 years. Then when you add all the physical changes you go through in pregnancy, it is so easy to lose touch with who you are. Some changes you are prepared for, while others are unexpected and can leave you unsure. For me, this uncertainty and numerous changes left me feeling disconnected from both myself and my husband.

This discovery step is so important because in order to reconnect in an area or with a person, you have to know what or who that is. There will also be times, like I discovered, that you need to reconnect in more than one way. The discovery is the most eye-opening step.

It causes you to dig the deepest because you have to be completely honest with yourself and all of your feelings. Once you have taken this step and discovered where you feel disconnected. You can now take the most vulnerable step you need to take when reconnecting.

Step 3 To Reconnecting Is Sharing Those Thoughts & Discovery With Someone

You are sharing for two reasons. First, because it helps you to start connecting in some way even if you do not feel disconnected to that person. While also helping you to get some accountability. No one should have to or want to struggle with anything alone.

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:10 (ESV)

Who you share your thoughts and feelings with is up to you and can vary. Who can have a lot to do with how and with whom you may feel disconnected from.

If you are feeling disconnected from your husband it may not be as easy to tell him how you are feeling at first. I know for me whenever I feel disconnected from my husband, I go first to God. Then I talk to one of my best friends. Going to God first helps me to gain clarity in my thoughts and to see where I may be adding to the feelings of disconnection.

Then when I talk to one of my best married girlfriends, she lets me know that I am not the only one that has felt that way. While also giving me practical advice on what I can do to reconnect with my husband and encouraging me to talk to my husband. Then she joins me in prayer. Praying not just for me to become reconnected, but also for me and my marriage.

Having someone to share your thoughts and feelings with, whether that is a friend, your husband, or even your therapist (because I have done this with all three) it also shows you that you are not completely disconnected from everyone.

Your need to reconnect in different ways and with different people in your life is something that will be ongoing. We all go through different seasons of life and different storms that test us, grow us, and cause us to become disconnected. However, with these three steps, you can not just overcome those thoughts and feelings, but work towards the reconnection you are really seeking.

I’d love to know what you do when you find yourself disconnected either
in your faith or with people in the comments!

<