Everyone enters into marriage with so many hopes and dreams. You want a marriage that stands the test of time and will withstand anything that life throws at you. You also enter marriage with your own ideas, views, and expectations. Some you share with your husband and some you do not. Yet there is one thing that so many enter their marriages with that often can have the biggest effect on it and those are marriage myths.
Marriage myths are those thoughts and ideas that you believe are true, but in reality are not. It is so easy to believe them because. We often either do not share them so there is no opportunity for them to be proven false. Also, we may not have anyone in our lives that share the unfiltered truth about marriage so we can discover the truth for ourselves.
Well, I am here to be that person for you because I was blessed to have someone do it for me and I am all about paying it forward. So here are 3 marriage myths I do not want you to fall for.
Marriage Myth #1- Marriage is 50/50
This was one that I totally fell for while engaged and early in my marriage. As wives, we often think that if I just do my part that my husband will do his part and everything will be good. This is one of those half-truths because doing your part is important so to speak. In marriage, we should have different roles according to what God says about marriage and roles according to what works best for your household.
Not all wives do all of the cooking and the cleaning. While not all husbands exclusively provide income for the home or do all the home maintenance. Marriage is a covenant and a partnership. A covenant with God at the center and a partnership with two people committed to not just doing their parts, but giving their all.
Marriage is not 50/50 it is 100/100. In marriage, in order for it to be healthy and strong, both you and your husband have to stay committed to giving 100 to it. Because if you are only giving 50%, where is your other 50% going?
So marriage myth #1 debunked because marriage is not 50/50 it is 100/100.
Myth #2- In Marriage You Complete Each Other
As much as this sounds nice and who does not want to find their “other half”. In marriage, you are not a ‘half’ and you should not complete your husband or vice versa. You as individuals should complement each other.
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
Genesis 2:24 (NLT)
You and your husband are two whole people coming together to create this new union as one. You are complete with God all by yourself and so is your husband. All of you along with your gifts, talents, and abilities complement your husband and vice versa.
One of the things I love most about my husband is how different we are. In our personalities, perspective, outlook and so many other ways. Yet, over the years we have discovered that these differences have made us stronger. My husband, Eric, is totally a ‘glass is half full’ kind of guy. He can find a friend anywhere and always tries to find the bright side of any situation.
Then me on the other hand, I am totally going to address the ‘half empty’ part of the glass. My circle of friends is a lot smaller and I hold on tight to them. These differences do not complete the other, they allow us to complement each other. And I can bet the same can be said about you and your husband.
In order to fully complement, it is important that you pour into yourself by taking the time to both take care of yourself and grow deeper in your faith with God. This complementation that is so important in marriage debunks the second marriage myth that you are to complete each other.
Marriage Myth #3- It Is You Against The World
This is also a myth that I fell for early on in my marriage as well. Eric and I have lived away from family most of our marriage, so it was easy for us to think that. It was just us and we were committed to keeping our marriage a priority. So we thought initially that the only way to do that was to have an us against the world mentality. But how wrong we were!
Looking at things as if it is you against the world can often isolate you and prevent you from having the benefits of being surrounded by loving friends and family. And not just being surrounded by, but also having others pour into you. When we allow other like-minded friends and family to invest lovingly into you and your marriage, both are strengthened.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)
Others are able to see things you cannot and also have experiences and knowledge you may not. Every wife needs a circle or community of women that helps to encourage, lift up, and pray for them. I am blessed to have both and I bet you do too.
I love my small circle of girlfriends that I can and have called on over the years during the ups and downs of married life. And the community we are building here at Beyond Committed has been such a blessing. So if you have not joined yet, make sure to join at the end of this post and you can also join the FaceBook here.
Being in community is key when debunking the marriage myths like ‘it is you against the world’, ‘marriage is 50/50’, and ‘you complete each other’. It is these myths that can keep you either stuck or from living your best life as a married woman. And it is in places like here at Beyond Committed that we can not only debunk those myths, but also grow as wives. Taking our lives, faith, and marriages BEYOND!
I’d love to know what marriage myth you may have fell for in the comments below!
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