5 Simple Steps To Becoming A Better Wife

I do not know about you, but this wife life looked a whole lot easier before I became a wife. Marriage is a beautiful blessing, but it is not easy and it takes work. Then when you add career and kids to the mix it can often become overwhelming.

However, no matter how much work it takes and the ups and downs you go through, it is all worth it. You do your best to build a strong and healthy marriage that will stand the test of time. While trying to be the best wife you can be.

“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”
Proverbs 31:29 (NLT)

Now, what wife does not want her husband to say this about her? Being a Proverbs 31 Wife is often an ultimate goal for so many of us. Yet if I am honest, it can at times feel out of reach.

Therefore instead of overwhelming ourselves with all, we may not be at this time in regards to being the ultimate wife. Why don’t we just focus on being a better wife today than we were yesterday? Every step forward, no matter how small,  counts and all growth is important. So here are 5 steps we all can take to become better wives.

Step 1- Stop The Comparison Game

This is huge for so many of us, especially in the social media-driven world we live in. Everyone has different gifts, talents, and abilities. God created us all uniquely different and beautiful. The same goes for your marriage. Embracing who you are, what you bring to your marriage, and the uniqueness of your marriage is so important to becoming a better wife.

I love getting tips, tricks, and advice from other wives. However, I also have to remember that what may work for one person or marriage may not work the same way in mine.

We also have to remember that no matter how ideal or perfect another wife or marriage may appear, we all have stuff. No one and no relationship is perfect. We all have to work daily to be the best we can be and stop thinking less of ourselves because we are different from someone else.

Step 2- Study Your Husband

No matter how well you think you know your husband, there is always something new you can learn about him. Your husband, just like you, will grow and change over time. So it is important to remember that in order to be a better wife to the husband you have, you have to know your husband.

The man you married all those years ago may not be the same man you are married to today. At his core, yes he is the same man, but his thoughts, wants, and needs can change over time. Therefore, it is important as wives that we study our husbands.

You do this by truly listening to the things he says, both to you and others. By watching him and seeing what now makes him smile, laugh, or withdraw. Also by spending time with him and being committed to dating him again. You studied your husband well when you were dating to see if he was a man you could see you spending the rest of your life with, so do not stop now.

Step 3- Talk To Your Husband

This goes hand in hand with studying your husband. Who better to ask about ways you can become a better wife, then your husband? Your husband knows you best and wants what is best for your marriage as well. The questions can be as simple as…

“How do you think I am doing as a wife?”

“What is something you need from me? Want from me? Or need less of from me?”

This is where you have to put your pride aside and really listen. It may not be easy to hear where you may be falling short or can do better, but it is necessary. My husband, Eric, and I have been doing this for a while. It was not easy at first and I struggled with wanting to defend myself instead of being willing to change.  However, over time I now have come to look forward to checking in with him.

The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, and a wise friend’s timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger.
Proverbs 25:11-12 (MSG)

Remember you and your husband are in this together. You becoming a better wife will help you both to build a better marriage. You may also be surprised at how asking these questions may prompt your husband to do the same. This may also push him to want to be a better husband. This is definitely an amazing win-win!

Step 4- Surround Yourself With Other Loving Wives

You have heard it takes a village to raise a child, well I feel the same way about building a healthy marriage and becoming a better wife. Having a great group of girlfriends and other married couples around you that are also committed to being their best and having awesome marriages is so important.

You need wives around you and your marriage to encourage, inspire, and challenge you to be better and want more. While also cheering for you and with you as you all strive to be the best wives you can be.

Step 5- Pray

Although this is listed last, it should always come first in all we do. If your desire is to be a better wife, then asking God to equip you, encourage you, and guide you in doing so is key.

Therefore I say to you, whether things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
Mark 11:24 (NKJV)

Asking God to help you, reveal things to you, and give you the courage to take the steps you need to not just become a better wife, but to also take your marriage to the next level is a step worth taking daily.

Just as it is said that Rome was not built in a day, neither is a strong and healthy marriage. Taking the steps you need to become a better wife will help you to build the marriage of your dreams.

I’d love to know what step you plan on taking today in the comments!