When You Feel Disconnected From Your Husband

Just like we go through different seasons in life, so do our marriages. Our marriages are always growing, changing, and being tested in many different ways. We go through seasons of bliss. Times when everything appears great, we are feeling loved and showing love. Times that you wish will never end.

We also go through hard seasons. Times when the storms of life test us both and our marriages. Causing you at times to either question or doubt things about your marriage. Then there are those distant seasons.

Those times when you feel disconnected from your husband in different ways. Season of emotional, physical, or spiritual disconnect. For one reason or another, you are just not connecting with each other.  All of which can put strain both on you and your relationship.

As wives, we all want strong and healthy marriages, so in those times when you feel disconnected from your husband, it is important to know what to do.

When You Feel Emotionally Disconnected From Your Husband…

This one for me is often the hardest to navigate and overcome at times because it is solely based on feelings. Men and women often deal with things differently and express our emotions differently.  So when feeling disconnected communication is key.

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)

We have to communicate not just about our feelings and the feeling of disconnect, but about everything. When you are open, honest, and lovingly communicating with your husband on a continuous basis about everything; it is hard to be or stay emotionally distant. By always being open and sharing the good and the bad, it allows you to grow together and stay connected.

There are also times when one spouse may be feeling that they are disconnected, while the other thinks everything is fine. So this is why having open and continuous communication is key. This also allows you to see if there is truly something going on or it just appears that way because of everything going on in your lives.

I have learned over the years, that when my husband has a lot going on at work he appears emotionally distant. I know my husband is not the only one this happens to. However, with constant communication and me really listening to him, I discover that is not the case. He just has a lot going on and it pushes me to love on him more.

Knowing what is in the hearts and minds of our husbands cannot always be gained through conversations. It may be because it is hard to put into words. Or it may be that it is an uncomfortable conversation that one of you may be trying to avoid. Or your husband’s emotions, like your own at times, are unclear to him, so he cannot accurately verbalize them.

In times like this communication is still key, but prayer becomes even more important. You take not just your feelings of disconnect with your husband to God, but also the need for revelation. Seeking that God not only reveals to you what is causing you to be disconnected, but also to your husband.

I often pray prayers of revelation for my marriage through all seasons. To have open and honest marriages, we often need to ask God to reveal things to us about different things at different times.

When You Feel Physically Disconnected From Your Husband…

This one is often a very sensitive topic. Physical intimacy in marriage is something that is so important. Yet, it is one of the areas that is the easiest to become disconnected in. With the busyness of life and the physical changes we go through as mothers over the years, it is easy to become disconnected from your husband physically.

While it is often the easiest area to become disconnected in, it is also the easiest to reconnect. So when feeling physically disconnected from your husband, just do it! Literally.

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
1 Corinthians 7:3 (NLT)

We all have needs and within our marriages, it is up to us as wives and husbands to meet those needs.

Now do not get me wrong, this is a lot easier said than done. Especially with all the things we have to do doing the day, meeting the needs of our kids and our husbands in different ways. We can often feel spent and physically done at the end of the day. Yet, we never want the needs of our day or our kids to override the needs of our husbands.

I can honestly say that I am not always in “the mood”, but I know that maintaining the physical connection is essential to my marriage. Physical touch is one of my husband’s love languages, like a lot of men. So making sure I am loving him how he likes to be loved is important.

Even if physical touch is not your husband’s love language, physical intimacy is still important in every marriage. In order to maintain that connection, we have to maintain that physical intimacy in your marriage.

When You Feel Spiritually Disconnected From Your Husband…

Marriage is the most intimate relationship we have outside of our relationship with God. So making sure we are maintaining that relationship on a spiritual level as well is key and cannot be done without God.

And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.
Matthew 18:20 (MSG)

Praying together allows us to grow in so many ways and keeps us connected spiritually with our husbands. There is just nothing like hearing the thoughts and heart of your husband through prayer. It gives you an insight and a view of your husband that cannot be gained in any other way. While also giving you things you can pray about for your husband when you pray alone.

Going through the different seasons of disconnect is definitely not easy. Yet, having these tools will help us all to not just get through them, but to

have better marriages after. Trusting that with God at the center we can put in the work to make our marriages work.

I’d love to know how you deal with those times you feel
disconnected from your husband in the comments!