{You are in for a treat with a little ‘Tea with E’. Where my hubby, Eric, stops in to guest post
and give us a little peek into the male perspective}
Having strong friendships can be a tremendous blessing in your life. They require an investment of time, commitment, and love, in its broadest definition found in I Corinthians 13. Developing and maintaining friendships throughout life can be challenging, especially as you go through different seasons of life. Given the gift of freedom to make choices, we should be wise in who we choose to develop relationships with. While also trusting God with our friendships because He is paramount to us realizing the blessings of healthy friendships.
True Friendship
Defining friendship can be complicated. Very rarely do we ask direct questions such as, would you be my friend or do you consider me a friend? Many of us often make statements that define someone as our friend based on shared experiences. What defines a friend to each of us is not so important as whom we decide to give that title to. The company we keep will influence our character and directions we take in life.
Therefore, it is important to invest in friends that share similar values and have a sincere interest in your life journey. They are willing to encourage and also challenge you in love to seek the best for you. Ultimately, you want friends to support you, encourage you, and point you towards God, not pull you away from Him.
Nothing is meant to stay the same
Friendships are truly defined over time based on experiences with major life events. It’s a heart thing!
The times of triumph and tension can allow you to see and appreciate the nature of your friendships, especially their health. We know that life is full of seasons as clearly stated in Ecclesiastes chapter 3, so having a friend that loves at all times is a blessing.
Trusting God with our friendships is important since we do not always know the seasons that await us. Friendships also go through seasons and not all are intended to last a lifetime. As individuals grow and mature or do not for that matter, priorities and needs can shift.
Such shifts and season changes can either strengthen the relationship or push the individuals apart, which may potentially cause that friendship to end. Not necessarily because anyone did anything to cause it to end, but the season for that relationship was over, the needs of individuals are no longer being met, or God’s purpose for that friendship has been fulfilled.
Not all Friendships are created equal
The depth of friendships varies and often changes over time. As I reflect on my friendships, the level of transparency and authenticity of an individual’s willingness, including mine, to share details of our victories and challenges in life often determine the depths of our friendships. It is the trust that is built through such interactions that our relationships can thrive.
Yet, we have to realize we cannot and should not share everything with everybody. This is why using wisdom and seeking God in your friendships is so important. Especially, when dealing with private and personal matters like your marriage and children. We need to know that the other person has our best interest at heart and seeks to be in agreement with God’s purposes for us.
I’ve had a range of friendships throughout my life, some no longer and others that have thrived tremendously. With all relationships, trust is key especially as our needs and priorities shift through major life events or seasons.
Trust not just in the other person, but also in God to stay in the midst of your friendships because we are imperfect people. With God, we will find grace and understanding in our friendships to continue to love and accept each other wholeheartedly.
I’d love to hear about your experiences with friendships, the blessings and lessons learned!
So much truth in this post. It took me awhile to realize some friendships are seasonal. Once I understood that…it helped me cope with some of my experiences. Great post! xo
Thanks Annette, same here. I would add that the seasons of life will always bring about changes in our relationships sometimes for greater depth or distance. Hence, the importance of keeping God in our friendships. Blessings! E
This is so true! I’ve always wondered how people are still friends with their HS friends. But then I realized that my HS friends were temporary. Those weren’t people I actually wanted to hang out with. (I was going through a phase. Lol) So it makes sense that once I got back to the true me, we’d eventually go our separate ways.
Love this post so much! Have truly never read anything so accurate about friendships, very beautifully written!
I loved reading about this. I believe we have different friendships for the different phases of our lives. God often gives us the people we need.
Amen, thanks Brittany! God is faithful indeed. E
friendships can be hard. this is totally something i struggle with!
True friends are such a special gift. Honesty, support, a lending ear, and a judgement-free attitude are what really make these relationships valuable. You can fully be yourself.
Trust God with our friendships…I love that! It’s so true, He knows who we need to have in our life and when, just like He knows who needs to have us in their lives and when.
Good friends are solid gold! A true blessing in our lives! I am so thankful for the sting community that I have. Iron truly does sharpen iron and I am better for having my friends.
Amen Mary Leigh! Truth. E
Love your illustration about your kids with your husband. Beautiful analogy. xo
Yes this is so true! Throughout life, I’ve gone through a lot of friends and only a select few have stuck by my side.
Came across this at a very appropriate time. Thank you for the important reminder and great observations on friendships. <3
Thanks Jessie! Glad to hear the post was a timely blessing for you. God bless you! E
Our truest friends are so wonderful, they stick by us and share lifetime bonding experiences. I write a travel blog and have traveled often with friends. It’s enriched my experiences as well as deepened my bond with my friends.
I agree with you that trust is key. It’s so important for a long lasting friendship.
Thanks Jaynie for sharing. Being able to experience life together through traveling is certainly a great vehicle for bonding. E
Honesty and transparency is key in friendships. My best friends are the ones who I am most open and honest with.
Thanks Mila! Being open and real is certainly a catalyst for healthy friendships. E
I think many people forget that friendships are relationships too and that they need care, time and commitment just like romantic relationships. Making friends as an adult is so much harder than when you are younger. Children are so simple, “got toys? cool, let’s play with them.” Adults not so much!
Thank you Kenya Rae! I couldn’t have stated it better. Wise words indeed. The simplicity and conveniences of developing friendships fades as we age, we have to be intentional. God bless you! E
Great post! I find my friendships have changed over time, and seem to change as the seasons of life do!
I do miss some of my old friends, but yes, seasons change. Luckily there is always facebook to stay in touch! 🙂
Thanks Lisa! I’m right there with you. I certainly miss some of my friendships, yet I know that God is faithful to establish the divine connections in friendships that I need in navigating life. Facebook is a good tool to stay connected in some fashion. E
I know a lot of people but only a select few have earned the title “friend”. Also, I feel like there’s so much pressure to have a “best friend”who is not a spouse which I find ridiculous. 🙂
Thanks Holly! I can appreciate your investment into the quality of your friendships as only a few hold that title in your life. I tend to avoid the best friend title in a singular tense because that can place a limit on other relationships, including my marriage. I do have a tier of ‘best friends’ so to speak, those I’m closest to that we’ve experienced life together. They challenge, encourage, and inspire me. E
It’s true that friendships don’t last a lifetime. My mom always said, “People come into your life, and people go out of your life.” That was a hard lesson for me to learn when I moved to college and had to make all new friends. But with new seasons of life come new friends! 🙂
Thanks Melanie for sharing, your mom gave you some wise insight. It’s certainly a challenging lesson when friends that you love dearly tend to fade out of your life, but God is faithful to bring about new friends for new seasons! God bless you. E
These are all such lovely tips! Friendships are so important in life but understanding the needs and differences can be tricky
“Nothing is meant to stay the same”… This is so true! I think my strongest friendships were grown over time and trials that life has thrown our way. Great post!
I feel like this is an area hard to make new friends as you get older. All my “best” friends are college friends who live far. But I do cherish the longevity of closeness of those friends. I personally am working on being a better friend.
Thanks Harmony! I would agree it gets more challenging to develop friendships as we get older due to our priorities in life and greater demands on our time. We have to be more selective in how we invest and trust God in our relationships. I love your attitude of gratitude regarding your best friends despite the distance, that is a healthy perspective. E