As wives and mothers, we often feel like we have a pretty good handle on things and rarely ask for help. I am a person that truly believes that my life would be a mess without my planner, schedule, and routines. My planner helps me keep everything in order and together. My schedule keeps my day in order. While my routines keep everyone in my household moving along nicely.
Yet, regardless of how well we’ve written our plans and schedule out, or worked out our routines, we cannot do it all and should not try to. Asking for help may not always be easy or simple, but is necessary especially from our husbands.
Remember You Are In This Together
The success of your marriage, family, and household is not your sole responsibility. Both you and your husband are in this together.
You have different gifts, talents, and abilities that are meant to complement each other. Asking for and allowing your husband to help you in different areas allows you to use those compliments and love each other in the process.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NLT)
We can get so much more done and go so much farther when we do things together. Sometimes doing things together will require you to ask for help. Your husband wants to have a successful marriage, family, and well-run household just as much as you do. So no matter how big or small the request may be, always remember that you are in this together. Your need or want being met may only be one request away.
Remember Your Husband Wants To Help You
Most men like to fix things and often show their love by doing things. Yet they often do not know how to help because it appears like we have it all together. They may not want to mess up what you have going on or make you feel like you are lacking in some way.
So they wait, seeming as if they are doing nothing, yet truly waiting for opportunities to help and bless us. By asking for help from our husbands for different things and in different areas we are giving them an opportunity to give us not just the help we need, but the help they want to give.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church -a love marked by giving, not getting.
Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
Remember That Help Comes In Many Different Forms
Our husbands may not always be able to take the task on themselves, but they will often try their best to get it done one way or another. At the end of the day, it does not matter how it gets done, as long as it gets done.
I remember when my husband, Eric, started to notice that keeping our house clean was stressing me out. Although he did not have the time to take over the cleaning duties for me, he wanted to help. So he offered to look into getting a cleaning service for us. However, I rejected his offer and he did not bring it up again. I did not want to take off my Superwoman cape or be looked at as though I cannot keep my own house clean.
Then a month or two later after continuing to stress out about my house and praying about it, I asked Eric to get us a cleaning service. It took a lot of humility on my part. To both ask him and to realize I need to care less about what others thought and get the help I needed. I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to have Eric provide the help I needed and how much of a blessing it is.
Doing life with one of your best friends that also happens to be your husband is a beautiful thing. So remember that asking for the help from your husbands is never a bad thing and is a blessing to you both.
I’d love to know an area you may need to ask for help from your husband
and what may be preventing you from asking in the comments!
Good points. It is important to rely on each other’s strengths and recognize that we compliment each other. My husband and I just celebrated our 7 year anniversary yesterday! These are good tips for keeping us headed in the right direction!
Congratulations on celebrating 7 years, Melissa. Recognizing each other’s strengths and weakness is so important. While seeking to leverage those for the health of your as well.💕
Some times it is hard to ask for help in general because you assume that your husband should know what you want/ need help with! This is a great post and I am definitely pinning for later 🙂
I’m so bad at asking for help. I have this really bad anxiety about inconveniencing others or asking for anything. It’s terrifying for me. I need to get better at it because I do know my husband wants to help.
YES! Your husband absolutely wants to help you! Communication is so key in any marriage especially when it comes to needing help! Great post.
What a wonderful post!! I love asking my husband to help out… especially if it’s heavy lifting. I love watching him work around the house and play with the kids so I can have a moment of quiet to work. Yes, I still think my hubby is sexy after all the years.
Years ago my husband and I had a real rough time. As we walked through that, we found that I was continually irritated with him for not helping me, and he was continually irritated with me for not talking to him and telling him how he could help me. Communication truly is the key to all relationships! 🙂
Girl! I’d be dialing the phone after 10 seconds. Swallow that pride and get the help. You can’t do it all. Good for you for asking for help. I bet you are happy every time the house gets clean!!
Great advice here! I have such a hard time asking for help!!
this is such a great post! I think marriage is all about team work and knowing when to ask for help from one another. I always stress about keeping my house clean too. and resist when my husband offers to help.
I think this is so important and is a must. I need to ask my husband for help and communicate better for sure!
I definitely need this reminder often!! I feel so bad asking for help so often, but I have to remember my husband’s love language is acts of service, so he LOVES to help! It makes him feel loved and it’s his way of showing love!!
Asking for help is so difficult! Usually we run the household together, so that’s pretty much ok. But when it comes to emotional support I always feel like I should fix it on my own. And you’re right, when you’re in a relationship, you’re in it together! I sometimes forget that. Oh, and he could cook a little more often, but the kitchen gets so dirty after 😉
Beautiful post and a great reminder! I find that I just have to remember to communicate and ask my husband to help out and he is always willing too, thankfully! And yes, sometimes it’s really really hard to take off that superwoman cape isn’t it! 🙂
I am so thankful that I realised early that it is a good thing to ask for help. But also
to show much appreciation for it. I have often been neglectful of that
Taylor (my husband) is pretty good about helping when I ask him to. The area I struggle with, is that I tend to expect him to complete tasks in the exact same way that I would do it, which is totally unfair. I’m working on it 😉
Asking our husbands for help is so important…and I will admit that this was hard for me at first. I felt like I had to do it all. Where did that get me? Totally exhausted and frustrated. Right now, we are actually trying a few different things out for 90 days to see how it works out for our family — yes my husband is cooking dinner for the next 3 months. SO far, it’s been good because it lets me get some other things done that I need to and he enjoys it!
I have a feeling this post resonates with many many people – it sure did for me. Your statement, “Most men like to fix things and often show their love by doing things. Yet they often do not know how to help because it appears like we have it all together.” Is so true. The thing that I battle with is simply not asking; instead, I assume it’s obvious what needs to be done. Though most often, what “needs to be done” is only obvious to me . Thanks for this great post!
I’m not shy about asking for help when I need it. Fortunately, the needs are few. And I’m the handy one in the house. 😉
Such great reminders! We are getting married this summer, and it’s so important to remember you’re in this together
So true!! It can be so hard to let go of the control and ask for help!
My husband is always willing to help, although sometimes he also encourages me to try and learn things by myself. It’s thanks to him and his encouragement that I’ve learnt how to design websites. Most importantly he’s always there for me, my biggest supporter.
I am so guilty of this! I actually had this conversation with my husband a couple weeks ago. It’s so hard to take off the super woman cape and ask for help. Thank you for the reminder!
Guilty! I need to be better at this! Thank you for this perfect reminder!
My husband does the cooking in the evenings and gets the kids ready and fed in the mornings. He is truly a God send in so many ways. Thanks for this reminder 💕
This is a great reminder! I hate asking for help, but it’s important in a marriage and partnership.
We all need reminders like this from time to time, Marissa.💕
This is such a great post. I honestly think communication is the best way to get your true feelings out. I definitely need to do more of that!
Thanks so much, Marisa. Communication is definitely key in any relationship, especially marriage, and it is something we all can get better at. 💕
I so agree with you. It is so important to be able to accept the help offered in the way it is offerred as well. Often, we are just stressed by what or how will the response be since we want it to be exactly the way we want, rather than focusing on what the other person is offering. Lovely post.
Yes, Aditi!! Focusing on the person, their heart, and their willings to step in and help is so much more important than worrying about if things are done our way. 💕
I agree it is a partnership. I’ve been blessed that my hubby helps me out a lot. It is also important that I let him know what I need or want him to do and not assume that he would figure it out on his own. Thanks for sharing!
I can really relate to this! I just assume my husband knows when I need help, and there’s time where I just don’t feel like asking for it! Remembering that we are in this together is key!
My husband is a big “fixer” which sometimes I appreciate, but sometimes I tell him, I just want you to listen, and not try to fix everything!
I’m lucky to have a partner that helps me pick up the slack without too much prodding. I always know that I can go to him for help because we both understand that it sometimes takes two.
These are wonderful tips! You are so right, men definitely do want to help, but they still need the guidance about what and how to do just that
This is something I really need to learn how to do. My husband is the best and is always trying to help me with everything. But the times I start to get overwhelmed it takes him by surprise because I let everything build up without asking for help and I practically explode. And then he’ll be upset with me for not telling him what was going on! But I’m stubborn and I want to do everything myself lol. So yes, definitely something I need to work on! I’m sure he would appreciate it too!
Not married, but in an almost three year relationship and I feel like this applies well. Thanks for sharing!
Asking for what we need definitely applies to other relationships as well, Jordin.
I just recently started to ask him for assistance! I wish I had learned this lesson 20 years ago 🙂
Don’t we all, Dee Dee. Asking for what we want and need could save us so much frustration and eliminate so many arguments.
I grew up in a household where my Dad did a lot of the cooking, grocery shopping and household chores. My mom worked a corporate job and my Dad had a more flexible job. I love that they worked things out together this way. With my hubby, we are a little more traditional (which I find funny as I am a feminist), but I honestly think it’s down to our current schedule. I work from home a lot of the time and it’s just easier for me to make dinner. I have however asked him to own 1 night where I do nothing!! No cooking/cleaning/taking the dog out for me. So far so good. Now I just need to figure out what else I can get hin on board with! It’s honestly all about balance though. If one of us is drowning the other always shows up to help.
Doing what works for your family and having balance is so important, Yolanda. I love the idea of your husband owning one night. I need to see if I could incorporate this into my house. 💕
Do you read my mind today? My husband has two days off Monday and Tuesday- I came back from being out with our oldest today and I thought I was going to flip, ok so I started throwing stuff a bit-Clothes were still in the washer and not put in the dryer, the kitchen was a mess! and trash was beyond full!! He should know-at times I wish he could read my mind- I hate asking. This is one of many things that I need to work on.
I have definitely been there, Stacey. So now when my husband has an off day, I ask him what are his plans for the day. Then after hearing his plans, I then ask for the things I would like for him to do as well. This way I am taking into account his plans and getting the help I need.
I’m not married(YET), but what a great example of what marriage looks like!
I think you nailed it on the head when you talk about help coming in different forms. My husband is military and works long hours, so sometimes I feel guilty asking for help on certain things, especially since I am not working at the moment. But I think its important to remember that marriage is a partnership no matter what. <3
Oooh yah I’m bad at asking my husband for help. I need to be better at asking him to help clean around the house sometimes (or at least put his socks away!) hahaa
I love this post! It’s hard for me to ask for help, especially from my husband these days. His work life is crazy, so he’s not always a “joyful” helper right
now 😉 But, this is just one season in life, and it’s important to remember we’re a team. I love your reminder that help comes in many forms… That’s so true!
I have also been trying to do it all. Luckily my husband has stepped in and asked how he could help more! It has been really nice.
I can so relate to this. Often I feel like he’s supposed to know what help I want. But you’re right, one should ask.