A question that so many of us have either asked or been asked is ‘Is love enough?’ With our answer being ‘No’ most of the time. It takes so much from us and for us to make our marriages work. Every marriage, like the people in it, is uniquely and beautifully different.
When two very different people come together in marriage, the things needed to make it work are often different as well. Yet the longer I am married and more married couples I meet that are truly in it for the long haul, I have become convinced that the answer to the question really is ‘Yes’. In marriage, love is enough and there are two reasons why I believe this is true.
Love Is Not A Feeling
As much as it feels good to be in love and to be loved, true love is not a feeling. When love is defined as a feeling, like most people tend to definite it, the answer becomes no love is not enough. Feelings are like the weather, wait long enough and they will change. Yet if we define love as the Bible defines it, we discover that love is really an action, not a feeling.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
We have to actively choose to be patient, kind, not boast, not be rude, hope, and endure. These things are not feelings, they are actions we have to take in order to truly demonstrate love. The love we have for our husbands should not be based on our feelings. We have to choose to love our husbands daily despite our feelings.
The truth is as much as I love my husband, Eric, he is not always my favorite person and vice versa. We can push each other’s buttons like no one else, and not always unintentionally. Showing him love is not always easy and is something that I have to fight to do at times.
We all go through different things and sometimes seasons in our marriages that can make it hard to love each other. We are not always acting or being lovable. Yet despite how hard it may be or how we feel, we have to choose to love daily. God loves us through the times when we are acting or being lovable, and with His help, we can do the same in our marriages. Therefore making love enough.
God Is Love
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:7-8 (ESV)
If God is love and God created love, how is love not enough? Keeping God at the center of our lives and our marriages empowers us to not only truly love our husbands, but to know that yes love is enough.
Answering the question ‘Is love enough?’ is all about how you define love. By defining love as an action and not a feeling, while also embracing that God is love, the answer is easy. In marriage, YES love is enough. Remembering that will help us all to have healthier and happier marriages filled with love.
I’d love to know how you show love to your husband in the comments!
Love is a loaded word. It has many meanings for me. In a lot of ways, the ideas that love is enough to sustain a marriage is true for me.
“Answering the question ‘Is love enough?’ is all about how you define love.” Exactly! Mercy, if I relied on my feelings toward my husband when he gamely watches a British period drama with me but ruins it by affecting a British accent for an hour afterward (insert eyeroll), our marriage would have ended 20 years ago. But he’s a wonderful godly man in other aspects, so I keep him. 😉
I love reading your relationship posts. I was only 19 when I got married and I had no clue how much WORK it actually was. At the time, I liked the idea of being married more than the actual marriage itself.
This is great!! It takes a lot to make it work! Firm believer that you have to know that.
i love this! Especially the point about choice, we have to choose respect, patience, kindness, and love and thats what allows us to grow stronger and closer together!
I do believe that love is a choice. 100%. Feelings can change, just as people do, but you can always choose to love. Great post!
Great read, I like that you mentioned that love is not just a mere feeling which is where a lot of people stumble once the butterflies fade they assume love has ended too. thanks for sharing.
This is such a great article! Every couple needs to read this!
As a newlywed, this is a great reminder. As the “feelings” start to fade, we need to remember that love isn’t just a feeling! Thank you for sharing.
I definitely think that love can be shown in a number of ways – your actions, your words, your behaviour, your effort…
It’s all about your partner’s love language – my hubby is big on action so I try to do more of that!
I love how you pointed to the bible for the definition of love. God who is love would be the best person to define love. 🙂 Love is so much more than a feeling – it’s a decision, a choice, a commitment, small daily actions. Thank you for this!
FANTASTIC POST!!!! I loved it! It’s truly an eye-opener! Great reminder of God’s definition of love as well!
What a great post! I certainly agree with your points here 🙂
I totally agree. Love is what holds a couple together no matter what. Even when times are really tough, if there’s love, it will make you want to work it out. XO ~Anna
This is a great article. Love does need to be an action that we practice daily. Because if we just rely on it as a feeling your marriage is in for a hard time.
Yes, Cynna! Relying on our feeling to sustain a relationship, especially a marriage, can be disastrous. Putting love into action everyday, regardless of our feelings, is so important in marriage. 💖
Wow, Ayanna, this is a great article.
Poignant and powerful. I agree… Love is enough because He is enough. Beautiful, thank you.
Melanie
Thanks so much, Melanie! That statement really hit me as well when I wrote it. 💕
I also think Love is enough. And I also agree with the fact that you shouldn’t define love as just a feeling. It’s the way you help each other through life and the way you stay even when the journey is hard. Thank you for sharing, lovely post.
Thaks so much, Carolina, and you are so right. Being there for and helping each other through this life journey is all about love. 💕
Such great points! 100% agree that love is about action, not feeling. Great post.
Thank you for sharing this. I very much agree with you! It’s important to understand the purpose of marriage and to realize that love is something that we must choose each day.
Yes, Mary Leigh! It is so easy to get caught up in our feelings and forget that we have to choose to love. 💕
All great reminders! Feelings really ARE like the weather! I’m going to start saying that!
Thanks, Kalyn and please do. 😉
Should be three people in a marriage. Husband, wife and Heavenly Father. Love is not enough. Communication, respect and many other things.
I’m not married but the way I see it – if you truly love each other, there is always going to be a way to make the marriage work. If one person falls out of love, that’s another story but as long as there is mutual love, there is hope!
Yes! Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment to actually live out our vows and to do our very best to live out God’s version of love even when we don’t feel like it. I’m pretty bad at it sometimes, but praise God for His grace and His help to help us improve!
Good post, good reminder. It’s true in marriage, our partners aren’t always our favourite persons 🙂
“If God is love and God created love, how is love not enough?”
One powerful statement with such huge implications. Great article. Love it 💕
AMEN. Love is definitely an action!! And once again, I love how you’ve woven Scripture into what you’ve written about 🙂
Ayanna thank you for this! I am so glad that you have defined love with the Bible and when we chose to look at “love” through that measurement, it is enough because of all that it encompasses. Great perspective! Being kind comes naturally for me but being patient is an area that needs work, along with not being “irritable” after a long day at work. I love my husband so deeply but for him, I need to work on fulfilling this aspect of love sometimes.
I love this! I agree with you 100%. Love is enough, not the feeling of love but the actions and understanding that love encompasses.
I love this! I often worry if I will ever be happy in marriage due to the vast amount of couples who admit that they are not ! and I am not sure if this is to do with the lost of lust but this gives me hope and I believe LOVE is everything.
– Kiarna Jayne xo