After being married for almost a decade, I can say I know my husband pretty well. I can usually predict a lot of what he will do or say. Marriage allows you to bond with your husband in ways you could have never imagined.
With this increased bond and familiarity, complacency and routine can set in. Although having a routine in most aspects of life is a great thing, your marriage shouldn’t be routine.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. Treating our marriages as routine takes the freshness and the spark out of them. As women, we are constantly changing and evolving.
The woman I was when I got married is totally different from the woman than I am today. I know the same can be said for many of you. Just as our needs and wants change over time, so will those of our marriages.
I can remember when Eric and I were dating. I was always excited to see what new things we would do or what new things I would learn about him. He was great at surprising me with little things and I loved surprising him as well.
Then over time, we lost a little of that because we let routine set in. Between work, the kids and just everyday life, it’s easy to fall into a routine in your marriage. A routine that does not look for new experiences, but relies on what we already know and the familiar.
Looking for ways to keep our marriages fresh and anything but routine is key.
Keeping Marriage Fresh
Keeping Marriage FreshAlthough every marriage is unique, there are a few things we can all do to keep our marriages fresh. When was the last time you did any of the following:
- Sent your husband a text during the day just to say that you love and appreciate him
- Scheduled a date night just because and let you husband pick the place or activity
- Wore something “extra special” to bed
- Snuggled on the couch
- Made your husbands favorite meal just because
These are just a few, and I know there are many more. Things that you know you can do to take some of the routine out of your marriage and keep it fresh. Keeping your marriage fresh doesn’t have to require huge gestures or even a lot of time.
The most important part is knowing your husband and the things that speak his love language. Doing things for him and with him to help you to connect and show your love for each other. For example, buying Eric a Kit Kat every once in a while goes a long way in my house.
Now I’d love to hear about how you are going to take the routine out of your marriage, and what things you like to do to keep your marriage fresh in the comments!
These are sweet suggestions. We are so busy raising the kids that it can be easy to forget to put some energy into our spouses. We just automate and that can lead to a real problem. Thanks for making this post and giving us some things to think about. Marriage is one of the most beautiful things created and I truly desire to make my husband feel as special as he makes me.
Great post, Ayanna! My husband and I just welcome our first child into the world last month so this article is right on time. I definitely want to keep our marriage “Fresh”! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your tips!
It gets really hard to do these when you have 3 little ones. We try our very best to make things special for each other when we can.
I totally feel where you are coming from Yami. My oldest was only 28 months when my twins were born, so for a long time date nights were non-existent for us. Yet, we tried our best, just as you are, to do the little things to show our love and commitment for each other. And to me, there is nothing routine about that. 😉 Be Blessed!
Although date nights are few and far between, there are things I can do throughout the week to let hubster know that he is loved and apprecited! THANKS for the friendly reminder mama!! 🙂
I’ve been married for 12 years now, and I find myself realizing how important this is. Thanks for the inspiration. I think I’m going to send him a sweet text today instead of the usual, “can you pick up xxxx’?
Happy Friday!
12 years is awesome Angela! The longer I’m married, the more I realize that it’s all about the little things. And remember you can still send your “can you pick up xxxx” text, just send it about 30 minutes later. That’s what I do 😉 Be Blessed!
Such a good reminder! I just sent my husband a text. 🙂
That’s awesome Meg! It’s amazing what a little text here and there can do. Be Blesses!
Being flexible really helps, last night our date plans were ruined by an unforeseen snafu. Instead, we went out for “date” breakfast this morning. I try to make an effort not to talk about “the kids” when we are on a date because that is our usual topic of conversation and I’d rather hear about more individual or personal topics like we used to share.
It is so easy to fall into routine! With work, kids and running a house, it’s hard not to. I love your suggestions and will look forward to being more intentional about breaking our routine.
Great post! It’s so easy to become roommates! We’ve been there–everything becomes routine at times. Every now and then, we take a road trip or take the train to a nearby city. We haven’t done either in a while, but now that it’s Fall and the leaves are changing, we might take a nice road trip to VA or TN to admire God’s handiwork. <3
These are great tips! My hubby and I always text nice things to each other throughout the week and try to do thoughtful surprises. It makes a difference! We’re celebrating our 12 year wedding anniversary next month! 🙂
Great post. I never thought of it as a routine, but it totally has been. Better long work days and our first baby under the age of one, we haven’t been good about making time for us, doing different things. We do have a short little getaway planned in a few weeks for just the two of us though!!
We enjoy our routine! With jam packed schedules, we look forward to Sunday football, watching our favorite shows together, and cooking every night together. I don’t think routine is bad! Our date nights might be different every time, but it’s still part of our routine.
Great Post! It is so easy to get caught up in the routine of life and forget the reasons you married your spouse in the first place! I have only been married for 6 months but I am so worried about losing the spark we had when we first met! These are some great tips for how to keep a marriage alive =)
Tim and I have a standing brunch date on Sundays at Bonefish. Although that falls into the “routine” category, we both look forward to it. With 4 kids, our family has a lot of moving parts so routine is a must. It is nice to find flowers in my closet and my favorite books under my pillow 🙂 I’m an early riser and he’s a night owl, so I keep the kids away from him some Saturday mornings so that he can sleep in.
Aw, I love these tips. You are so right sometimes everything becomes a routine without you even noticing. I love how simple your tips while they will make such a big impact. Thank you for sharing and for inspiring me to make sure our marriage will not become a routine!
Great post and advice. I love your photos, looks like you two have a lot of fun.
This is so true! It is definitely important to keep the spice in our marriages and not let them get too routine. Those are great suggestions on how to do that.
You have to put in the work and keep the fire and passion alive. It’s so easy to get caught up in just the routine day to day grind and forget the importance of nurturing self and each other.
Don’t get stuck in a routine, we have a date night every Friday and have for years. Showed the kids mom and dad need time alone and that we cared enough about each other and our marriage to make it a priority.