Have you ever looked at another mom, whether from afar like on your social media feed or a friend, and thought “I wish I was more like her”? They just appear to be rocking this motherhood thing with little effort. Everything may not appear flawless, but they seem to be doing a whole lot better than you are. You just are not like the other moms you perceive and start to feel less than.
I know I am not the only one. Yet, although comparing ourselves to other moms is something we should never do because it does leave us feeling less than.
There is some truth in that last statement. True, you are not like other moms. However, that does not make you less than, it just makes you, you.
God created us all uniquely different and blessed us with a variety of gifts. As mothers, we often possess some of the same gifts, yet how we use those gifts can be vastly different. Those differences make us different from other moms and that is okay.
Three gifts that every mom I know demonstrates are serving, teaching, and encouraging. How you use those gifts may make you not like other moms you know and that is a great thing.
The Gift of Serving
If your gift is serving others, serve them well.
Romans 12:7a (NLT)
As moms, we spend most of our time serving others, especially our families is so many ways. The way that looks may look different for every mom, but you are serving your family and serving them well.
Just like God made you uniquely, so are your family and their needs.
As a SAHM, a way I serve my family is by putting my career on hold and staying home full time. Having the opportunity to do this has been such a blessing and a calling on my life, but that is not the case for every mom.
I know so many moms that either work at home or work outside of the home because that is what is best for them and their families. As a working mom, you serve your family by working, just as a SAHM does by staying home.
Your home dynamic, with regards to how, why, and if you work, may be different from other moms you know and that is ok.
The Gift of Teaching
This gift is often coupled with whether “To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool“. This is a question that we all have either asked ourselves or others have asked us. It can also often turn into a debate depending on which side of the fence you are on or passionate either way.
I happen to have been on both sides of the fence. My oldest has always been in public school. She has grown and thrived there over the years and throughout our many moves. However, with my twins, I thought homeschooling may have been best for them early on.
So for preschool, I homeschooled them. I loved the flexibility of our schedule and watching them learn.
Yet after only a few months, I quickly discovered homeschooling was not for me. I commend all you mamas out there who homeschool because I truly believe that is a gift in and of itself. However, for me, my gift of teaching is not in the classroom per se.
If you are a teacher, teach well.
Romans 12:7a (NLT)
As moms, we are our kids’ first teacher and teach them different things every day. Whether that is their ABCs, 123s, or how to tie their shoes.
Consider the little things that we often overlook, like how to feed themselves, to be respectful to others, and to share. The list could go on and on. Just because your gift for teaching may look different from someone else does not make you less than.
Doing what is best for your kids is all that matters. Providing them with the best opportunities you can to learn and teaching them all the things you want them to know, whether it is at home or in a school, is what is most important. Your choice may be different from other moms and this is ok.
The Gift of Encouragement
Now if the title mom, just like wife, is not most synonymous with cheerleader, then I do not know what is. Our kids and husbands look to us for encouragement and support in so many ways. Yet, how that looks for each of us may look very different.
If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging.
Romans 12:8a (NLT)
You may be a mom who is at every event and can be found cheering the loudest to encourage your child to do their best. Or you may the mom that may not always make every game because you are working to pay for all those extracurricular activities. Either way, you are using your gift of encouragement in a way that is uniquely you.
So I encourage you to continue to be different. Continue to use the gifts that God has blessed you with in ways only you can. Embracing that you not being like other moms is okay.
I’d love to know how you are uniquely rocking motherhood in the comments!
This is such an encouraging post! I think sometimes we get so caught up in comparing ourselves to other moms that we forget God made us all differently and made our families with different needs than others. Thank you!
I am so in love with this post and the encouragement behind EVERY word! It’s so true that with motherhood comes the comparison games but we can choose to fall for them! All we can be is the best version of OURSELVES! You rock mama!
This was great to read and very reassuring. Sometimes I feel like I need to teach like others or be like other moms. My boys are happy and healthy and thriving, that’s all that matters. Best of all, they love me for ME!
This is a beautiful perspective! It’s so easy to compare, but we have to remember that our lives are uniquely ours and we are the mom to our kids for a reason.
There are so many mothers who need to hear this sometimes. It’s so easy to get caught up in what others are doing and not realize that you’re probably doing a damn good job too!
Moms always need to be reminded how unique we can be but similarZ we all strive to raise happy healthy human beings but have our own way of doing so. Motherhood is beautiful
I love this article about embracing our uniqueness as Mothers. I am the mother of three adult children. My daughter is on the autism spectrum. I homeschooled her for several years when the social aspect of attending school become hard and it was affecting her education. My children have attended public and Christian schools as well. My sons have struggled with addiction. One is doing great, married and attending school to be a physicians assistant. My other son struggles but is doing better every day. My point is that I had to learn to not compare myself or my children. I have to stay grateful for today and the transformation God is doing in all of us. Blessings to all the moms reading this article. You are a gift to your families.
I really do love the fact that God created me to a mother to my children and my children only.
I really needed to hear this post! I am a first time mom and put so much pressure on myself – especially when I am struggling and it seems like everyone is skating along.
So many truths! I feel like once you’ve come to a place of non-judgement you’ve really matured as an adult! Thanks for the praise to all the different mamas out there! It’s ok to just do you!
I love this, the reminder to not compare yourself to other moms is important. We as moms are all unique! This is a beautiful post.
This is such a great paste! I completely agree with this! Just like all kids are different, all moms are different too. It’s so important to just embrace our differences
Beautiful images Ayanna! I agree, doing what is best for our kids is all that matters!
Your girls are adorable, and they are lucky to have you. You sound like a mom who has figured out what’s important and is passing that on to her girls. We need to embrace our individuality. After all, comparison is the thief of joy.
I don’t know if other’s would agree, but I think I rock motherhood by always being with my kids and giving up some of my social life. I definitely long for a break at times, but when given the opportunity for a girls night out and an evening away, as much as I feel burned from doing all things mom at times, I really feel like this is the time to be present with my young children. Before I know it, they’ll be on their way to college so I want to take in every moment with them now.
Such a wonderful piece, thanks for sharing your insights and experience on motherhood!
This is wonderful Ayanna. Comparison is so easy on social media, and there is so much behind the scenes that we do not see. We each have gifts that we use differently and God has chosen each of us to raise a specific set of children as a result. Beautiful 💕
Love this post. I find myself trying to be the mom who does everything and falling into situations where I am taking on more than I can handle. As a mom, you have to do what is right for you and your family and not worry about what other moms are doing.
Something that all moms need to be reminded of from time to time. Especially in today’s world where it’s easy to judge ourselves surrounded by social media. I don’t think I could homeschool either, so awesome you gave it a shot! You and your girls are beautiful!
This is a great, positive post, and one for us all to read and soak in. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to other moms, but I love how you encourage us to embrace who we are and what we have to bring!
I absolutely LOVE this! So often, thanks mostly to social media, us mamas feel like we’re not “doing enough.” It’s so crazy! Needed this reminder today! <3
What a wonderful post and an important reminder that just because we are all moms doesn’t mean we have to “mom” in the same way. It’s so important to focus on what is best for our families and support other mothers in how they serve their families.
I love this! If God had made us all the same the world would sure be a boring place!
We need to remind ourselves of this often because it’s all too easy to get caught up in the trap of comparison.
I so needed this post! Thank you 🙂
Such a great read!
I’m actually happy I’m not like other moms. We are all unique. We all show our love in different ways and we should never ‘mom shame’ or criticize. Great post and I will indeed continue to be different!
I agree with you. All mommies are different and we have different ways taking care of our kids and showing our love but in the end what matters is that we all love our family and we want what’s best for them.
I truly believe that there isn’t a one size fits all for mothers. There also isn’t a one size fits all for kids. We are all unique and have different needs, just like you wouldn’t manage all employees the same, you shouldn’t raise all kids the same.
It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparison! And nobody is happy there! We would all do well to remember these 3 gifts!
I love seeing “You are not like other moms” in print and out there. Everyone’s situation is so different, it is not productive to compare. What is important is to be the person you were created to be.
I love this reminder that we are valuable and unique. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others but God has created us all with individual gifts and talents. That means I only need to be me and not try to be like someone else.
Isn’t is wonderful we are all so different under Heavenly Fathers plan instead of the other way around. Need to remember our children are different as well.