Although it has been over 12 years, I can remember my wedding day like it was yesterday. All the planning, decision-making, late nights, and travel paid off. My husband, Eric, and I got married in front of 60 of our closest family and friends at a destination wedding in Jamaica. To say we had a blast would be an understatement.
It was a day filled with joy and a whole lot of fun. Yet, like anyone who has been married more than a day can tell you, real marriage did not start until the day after the wedding day. All the hopes, dreams, thoughts, and expectations we brought with us to our wedding day start to truly unfold once the day is over.
As much as I remember about my wedding day, I also remember some of the thoughts and beliefs I had about what marriage was and was not. Yet there were so many truths about marriage that I did not know then and now wish I had. Such as in marriage you go from me to us. Learning to be more selfless and less selfish is something I still have to work on.
One of the main truths about marriage I wish I would have known earlier in my marriage is that marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It may seem minor to some, but embracing this truth will do wonders for your marriage.
Truth: Marriage Is A Covenant, Not A Contract
When I first got married, I can honestly say I did not look at marriage as a covenant. I may not have thought of marriage has a contract, but I know I did not look at it as a covenant. Mainly because I did not know what a covenant was and had very few examples of what a Godly marriage was.
This all changed after Eric and I joined our first church together and joined the marriage ministry there. There we learned what a covenant is, how God first created marriage, and what a Godly marriage should look like.
By definition, a contract is a temporary and limited legal document. God did not create marriage this way. Marriage is a death till us part agreement in which two become one.
But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation.
‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one,
let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Mark 10:6-9 (NLT)
This kind of bond formed between a husband and wife is like nothing else. It creates unity and intimacy that a contract simply cannot do. A covenant marriage also does not just include a husband and wife, but also God.
Having a God-centered marriage is the key to the covenant of marriage and nothing like a contract. It is something that cannot easily be ended with the signing of a pen, but worth working on and fighting for.
Truth: Your Covenant Needs To Be Protected
Like with anything you hold dear and love, it is worth protecting. The same should be said about your covenant marriage. There are so many things, people, and situations that can cause problems or division in your marriage. So in order to protect your marriage, you have to remember that marriage will take work because nothing worth having is ever easy, including a healthy and strong marriage. While always remembering to keep God at the center.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated,
but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.
Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NT)
I know for Eric and I, the ups and downs in life have helped to define us. The storms we have been through have strengthened us. And the tests we have experienced have become our testimony. Making our covenant worth protecting. I know the same can be said for you.
Along with keeping God at the center and fighting for our marriages, we also have to know and embrace the truths about marriage.
So over the next month or so we are going to look at different truths about marriage. Using these truths to build better marriages. Help us become better wives. While also staying committed to doing marriage God’s way. Are you with me?!
I’d love to know one truth about marriage
you always want to remember in the comments!
Marriage truth… Spend time with one another, even if it is just a talk at night or a trip to the grocery store. Marriage and rearing children definitely provide many opportunities for the ugly characteristic of selfishness, and we have to guard against it!
Spending time together and growing together is so important in marriage, Kristin.
Thank you for this! I love that your tests has become a testimony. <3
Thank you so much for your kind words, Linu.
There is still a good ways to go before marriage becomes part of my life, but posts like this remind me of the kind of mindset I’ll want to have with my partner <3
Going into marriage with the right mindset is so important, Casey.
Yahsss girl! There is a great book we received as a gift when we were engaged called “Three to Get Married.” It’s so deep!
That sounds like a great book, Kendra.
This is beautifully and correctly put. I am not married yet, and I am not sure that God has marriage in His plan for me, but I am at that age where many of my friends are getting married and I see that many are lacking this viewpoint. I also see the struggles that come to long-married couples when God is not the center of their lives and their marriage. The Biblical covenant between God and His people is such a beautiful image, and marriage its only human counterpart. I pray that if God ever blesses me with a husband, we will base our relationship on Him. Thank you so much for your beautiful words.
There are definitely struggles when God is not at the center, Sammy. Waiting for the man God has for you and His timing is so important.
This is such an important way of looking at marriage. If it’s just a contract, there’s no harm in folding if someone breeches their end. That’s not how a covenant works though!
Yes, Charissa!!
This is such important advice and a great perspective. My husband and I are trying to make sure we keep God at the center of our marriage and cling to him and each other through the hard times. You’re absolutely right, though, it takes worth. But our marriages are worth it! I’ll check back for more of your posts about marriage. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve really enjoyed your marriage posts! Thank you.
This is an awesome reminder of how I can protect our marriage covenant and why it’s necessary on a daily basis! I’m learning (after 14 years married) how to cover my husband in prayer, and God has done amazing things in our marriage. Thanks for sharing this encouragement.
It’s so true that marriage is not given the respect of how sacred it is from society’s standpoint. One thing about marriage that has helped my husband and I, is that we understand the individual things that can be discouraging for the other person and we are good at giving encouragement to help lift each other up when one of us or even both of us are down.
I am remarried. My first marriage was often a struggle because our faith wasn’t a priority. Come to find out he has been dishonest about what his true beliefs were. In my current marriage, God is the center. It’s like night and day. We still have our struggles but we are on the same team. Our marriage is a covenant that we work hard at.
Whew! Yes girl! Life and people will try to get in the way. A covenant cannot be broken. It is never-ending even in the midst of life’s greatest storms.