5 Things Tween Parents Need To Remember

I remember when I first heard the term tween. It seemed like something that someone made up and was not a real thing. As a mom of three girls, I knew the teen years will definitely give me a run for my money. Yet I thought that was the next season of parenting I needed to worry about since I had survived the terrible twos. However, all tween parents know how wrong I was.

There are a lot of changes and things that happen within and around our kids when they hit those years from 10-12 years old, the tween years. They are no longer the little kids we knew and love. However, they are not yet teenagers. It can be awkward and a lot of uncertainty for both our kids and us as moms.

Even with all of the ups and downs that the tween years can bring, it also is a fun and exciting time for our kids. Here are five things tween parents need to remember to help our kids thrive during this season.

Your Tween Sees More Than You Realize

As your kids are getting older and seeking more independence, it is easy to think our kids are not paying attention. Not just to what we say, but to what we do. Yet, during the tween years, they are paying more attention than ever.

Our kids are navigating the beginning of puberty and the influence of friends and media. There is an internal and external battle that they are making their way through. How they make it through a lot of those battles can depend on how they see you make it through.

How much importance do you place on social media or the lives of others? How do you navigate the changes going on in the world around you? Do you have a positive self-image? And how do you reflect that?

And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.
Titus 2:7 (NLT)

The things they see you do and say are some of the same things they will say and do. Even how we navigate trails and hard times. We are not perfect and will make mistakes, so it is important that our tweens see what we say and do during those times as well.

Remember Quality Time Matters

As much as your tween wants independence and to just hang out with their friends. They still want and need to spend quality time with you, even if they will not say so. As your tween grows and gets more and more involved in different activities, their time becomes limited. So being intentional about spending time with your tween is important.

Whether that is a trip to the mall, experiencing a new activity together, or just spending one-on-one time cooking in the kitchen. It is not so much about what you do, but just taking the time to connect with your tween and spending quality time.

Tween Parents Remember There Is No Conversation That Is Too Small

I know it can often feel like there are so many big conversations we need to have with our tween. Whether it is about body changes, friends, making good choices, and the list can go on and on. Although having those big conversations are both necessary and important, so are the little conversations.

You would be amazed how much you can find out from your tween in a 10 minute conversation on your way to drop them off at a friends house or their next sports activity. Keeping the lines of communication open with your tween now helps to keep in open when the teen years come.

When Your Tween Cannot Talk, Have Them Write

There will be times when your tween wants to share something, but does not know what or how to say it. So by giving your tween somewhere to write things down that they can share with you keeps the lines of communication open without actually talking.

I bought this mommy and me journal for my tween a little while ago.

It has been so fun and such a blessing to not just learn things about my tween through this journal. But also for us to communicate about things that we may not have. It is our safe space and its something I cherish. It always brings me a smile when I find it sitting on my nightstand because I know there is something new for me to learn about my tween on those pages. There are also some other books I know all tween girls should have and you can find those here.

Tween Parents Remember We All Need Space

As much as we want to talk, spend time with, and learn things about our tweens, they need a little space as much as we do. Finding a balance between giving them some space and being an intentional and attentive parent is not always easy.

I spend a lot of time watching and listening to the things my tween says even when she is not talking to me. By doing this and keeping the lines of communication open as tween moms we gauge when space is needed.

Whether we need to take some time and space for ourselves before handling a particular situation or just to have a break. Or when our tween needs some space and time away from a particular situation or needs a break.

As a mom of three girls, there is a roller coaster of emotions, thoughts, and opinions always going in my house. So it is always funny to me when emotions and voices are running high in our home and my husband, Eric, looks to me to see should we try to help, let it play out, or make everyone give each other space.

It has amazed me how much having my tween take some time alone can diffuse a situation. It is not a perfect science because nothing in parenting ever is. But allowing your tween the space and time to deal with their emotions and thoughts can help them to process and make better decisions next time.

This motherhood journey is not easy. It is filled with both blessings and struggles. Yet with these five things, we can not only parent our tweens well, but thrive as moms.

I’d love to know what is one thing you have to remember as tween parents in the comments!