Motherhood is not easy. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mother. Having my three daughters and watching them grow is such a blessing. Yet it is not always been rainbows and smooth sailing.
For me, motherhood has been filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. There are just somethings in life that no matter how many people you talk to, books you read, or podcasts you listen to you may never be fully prepared for or have all the answers for. I would say marriage and motherhood are two of them. I love my girls, but they are way cuter in pictures than they are in real life.
As mothers, there is not a day that goes by that our buttons are not pushed, our patience is not tested, or we question our parenting decisions. There are many days when we feel like we are in way over our heads. All of which can often cause us to feel like we are failing as a mom. Yet, feelings are not facts. Finding ways to deal with and overcome these feelings is so important. There are three things we all can do when you feel like you are failing as moms.
1) Take A Trip Down Memory Lane
In life and parenting, we go through so many seasons and storms that it is so easy to lose sight of how far we have come. So the next time you are overwhelmed or like you are failing as a mom, I encourage you to pull out those old pictures and take a trip down memory lane.
For me, this helps to remind you of all the good times and see how much your kids have grown with you as their mother.
This is one of my favorite pictures to look at when I need to take a trip down memory lane because it reminds me clearly of this. My twins were about one week old in this picture and now they are six. Being able to bring them home after only three days in the hospital was such a blessing and now I watch them get on the bus going to kindergarten. I may not have done or will do everything right, but when comparing then to now I know I am not failing as a mom.
2) Take A Social Media Break When You Feel Like You’re Failing As A Mom
We live in such a digital world. It feels like we have access to everyone and everyone has access to us at all times. This can be a good and a bad thing. It can be good especially blogger like myself and for families and friends who are spread out around the country and around the world. Yet it can be bad when it becomes a distraction in our lives.
A distraction that has the tendency to cause us to compare our lives to someone else. We can look at the social media feed of another mom or family and start to feel like we are not measuring up. Then feelings of failure may creep in. So taking a break from social media may be a way for you not only combat the feeling that you are failing as mom, but also allow you focus on the beauty and the blessings in your own life.
As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.
Matthew 13:22 (ESV)
Social media can often become like a thorn that distracts us and causes us to focus on the wrong things. We can become so wrapped up in the lives of others, things going on in the world, and trying to get the next thing, we lose sight of the truth and the blessings that we already have.
By taking a break from social media you can remove the distractions and the opportunity to compare, and realize you are not failing at this motherhood thing after all.
3) Prayer Is Always Necessary
Prayer is once again one of those things that go without question. We should always be willing to go to God in prayer in all situations, especially with our feelings of failure.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Psalms 32:8 (ESV)
God will help you not only deal with your feelings, but also guide you forward. Parenting is not easy, so guidance on what to do and how to do it is always needed. What better guide and teacher than God the Father.
As mothers, we may not be perfect, but we are far from failures. By taking a trip down memory lane, taking a break from social media, and praying we can overcome our feelings of failure and continue to find joy in the journey of motherhood.
I’d love to know if there are any times when you have felt you are failing as a mom
and what have you done about it in the comments!
What a beautiful post! I know so many mamas who need to hear this! Thank you!
I completely agree that taking a social media break can be a huge help. Moms today have a whole new experience as Moms with the added pressure of social media.
These are great suggestions! I am not a mom so I can not relate as to how this feels but I am sure it is very self defeating.
Lee
Love these tips. Feeling like a failure as a mama is definitely a constant struggle. Thank you for sharing.
I think every mom has been here at some point or another! It always helps me to think back to phases I thought would never end (like potty training) to remind myself that even the hardest phases pass!
I do that too, Heather. Those first 4 months having my tins home was definitely a time when I can look back that day I’m grateful to be passed that season.
It’s always good to know you aren’t alone in this game of motherhood. Thanks for this helpful tips girl.
Yes, Danielle. We all need a village that speaks life and love into us. 💕
I feel like this all too often. Thank you for these tips
Yes! All of these are so important! Obviously, prayer is a huge necessity, but I am also really glad you included taking a social media break. There is so much negative comparison that can happen when we are too glued to our phones.
Great ideas here! Im not yet a mom but I feel like I have a handful of mom-friends that could benefit from hearing these on occasion ;D
Thanks for reminding us that we’re not really failing as mamas 🙂 It’s often SO hard to remember when there are multiple times per day that we can feel like we’ve messed up. Prayer is my fave – it always, always helps.
Thanks for the excellent tips. These are easy to implement and can really make a difference. Its helpful to know that we aren’t a;one when we have these feelings.
Thank you. I needed this today. Like, literally right now.
I think a social media break is so important. There are endless ways to bring yourself down and compare yourself.
I love this post! I’m trying to take weekly social media breaks (usually weekends). I find that I get caught up with all the angry in the world. It stresses me out and then I snap at my kids 🙁 So it’s not just the comparison with others showing off their “perfect” lives. It’s knowing I can’t protect my kids from all the bad too. Taking breaks from social media helps me focus on my kids and the here and now with them.
This is a beautiful article! As a brand new mom, I am going to pin this post to refer back to on those hard days, thanks for sharing!
Yes, yes, yes! Such good reminders. I so often forget to get off of social media and down on my knees. So important to remember our journey and the things God brought us through in the first place. So good!
All three are so important to do. I so need to take a social media and life break. lol. But yes, trip down memory lane is my favorite. 🙂 Great post.
Those breaks can be so freeing, Aditi. 💕
Wonderful advice Ayanna 🙂
Not yet a Mom, but these things I can actually apply when I feel like I’m failing as a person (which I feel often).
Again, thanks!
You are not alone, Karla, and you are so right. All of these tips you can definitely apply to everyday life. 💕
So so true! Sometimes stepping away (from the kids – yikes did I say that out loud?, from technology – most definitely, and especially from ourselves – we self sabotage and are our own worst critics) and having some one on one time with the Man Upstairs and His Word are what we need to regain focus again; to realize we were called into Motherhood. God wouldn’t have given us these precious little gifts, if He hadn’t already equipped us. Taking that trip down memory lane always helps too 😊
Yes, Linda! God equips us with the heart and tools we need to be the mothers He has called us to be. 💕
You hit the nail on the head, Ayanna! Those social media breaks are the perfect time to dive into the Word and really reevaluate life and priorities and see where God’s will is leading you to!
Mariah
Yes, Mariah! Taking time to focus on our own blessings and God’s Word is so important.
I loved this post! I’m expecting my first baby in August and definitely needed to hear all this! Thank you so much 🙂
I really love your advice on how you handle parenthood. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful piece.
Hey Ayanna! I love this post. Your first point is something we too often forget to do as moms. Especially, when those precious little angels start heading toward puberty. Lol
When they aren’t cute and cuddly anymore and are stepping out in their own independence, this can be hard and trying.
Remembering our earliest visions for motherhood helps us stay grounded in why we wanted to be moms and what our goals were at the beginning. This gives us the strength we need to stay the course to raising happy, healthy godly seed. 🙂
This is such beautiful advice!
Great post! I have twins, too!
Thanks so much, Charlie. #twinmomsrock
This post couldn’t have come at a better time. As a mom of a two year old and a two month old, I have been struggling feeling like there’s enough of me to go around, especially since my two year old is very high needs. Taking a social media break always helps.. and so does prayer. Lots of prayer!
Prayer has gotten me through many of days too, Natalie. When my twins were born, my oldest was only 28 months and the struggle was definitely real at that time.
Thanks for the tips and reminders! Parenting is hard and as moms, we’re tough on ourselves! Taking a step back and remember where we’ve been and how far we’ve come is super helpful on those dough days
We all need these little reminders from time to time, Melissa. 💕
It’s so true that you need to put technology down and reconnect. It’s so easy to go down that rabbit hole. We are starting to have a family game night again at least twice a month.
You have a beautiful family! What a blessing! Cherish every moment…even the not so good ones. They all have a purpose.
These are great ideas Ayanna. I have to scream at myself sometimes – “PUT THE PHONE DOWN!!!” Stop comparing your life, your blog, your children. Thanks for being so transparent. It’s relieving to hear the statement that our kids are sometimes more beautiful on social media.
Ha Ha! That’s so funny you said that your kids are cuter in pictures. You’ll forget all the annoying stuff when they are older. They are much cuter as kids when they become adults.
I love that you included prayer. You are so wise. I wish I had prayed longer and harder in my younger years.
All of us moms have those days where we feel like what am I doing wrong. Taking a trip down memory lane is perfect and a great reminder of how much joy and happiness the kids have brought into our lives.
This is such a beautiful post! First of all, your family is precious, and from the looks of it, you are doing an amazing job! I think it’s important to reflect on all these things and use these tips as much as possible. Sometimes in the evenings it feels like you don’t know how you got it all done, and you didn’t have a moment to breathe in between. It’s so important to be present and enjoy the small moments, too. Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you so much, Stephanie. That’s one of the things I love most about pictures, is that the capture those precious moments. And in those moments when life is overwhelming us, we have them to show us that we are doing a lot better than we think.💕
Thank you for this! I like the take a walk down memory lane…we waited for YEARS for our miracle baby and now on hard days I try to remind myself of that and all the trials and tears it took to get to her, it helps me snap back into thankfulness and joy mode!
Motherhood definitely takes you a journey you never really are prepared for, Myriah. Yet the blessing and gifts it gives you are like nothing else. 💕