{You are in for a treat with a little ‘Tea with E’. Where my hubby, Eric, stops into guest post and give us a little peek into the male perspective.}
Spending quality time with our kids is so important. As a dad of daughters, it is essential that they understand true love, know who they are, and possess strong self-confidence. Fathers have a tremendous influence in building daughter’s self-esteem and expectations on how they should be treated. A great way to inform, equip and empower our daughters to become strong honorable women is when dads date their daughters.
A few months ago, I took our oldest daughter to see the movie Hidden Figures. The movie tells the story of three exceptionally talented women of color who were catalysts to the success of getting an astronaut into outer space for the first time. Unfortunately, the women were marginalized, discriminated against and often overlooked because of their gender and color.
My seven year old was able to understand at a very basic level that others didn’t want the women to succeed, but they seemed to be pretty smart and kept going to do their best. This warmed my heart and reminded me of.
“…in the world you will have tribulation, but take heart: I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (ESV)
After the movie, we went for lunch at a restaurant of her choosing. I asked her if she noticed how the women stuck together and encouraged one another, highlighting the importance of friendships. This opened the door for me to ask questions about her friends.
I think it is very important to check up on the emotional well-being of our children. especially when it comes to their relationships outside the home. This is an opportunity to discover the connections being made and understanding what they value in others. The movie also provided the opportunity to discuss aspirations, even in the midst of opposition.
Dating our daughters also allows us as dads to discover their interests, hopes, and dreams. Think about how your daughters respond to different situations, their natural tendencies, self-directed hobbies and activities to uncover the treasure God has placed in them. I take to heart that we were all created with unique talents, gifts, and abilities.
‘Now there are a variety of gifts…..
but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone’
1 Corinthians 12:4-6 (ESV)
An adventure awaits in discovering who our children are and their purpose on this earth. As their parents, it’s our responsibility to nurture and build their character to fulfill their purpose.
Modeling communication and practical life skills on a date also provides our daughters with great examples on how they should carry themselves and interact with others.
Basic things such as letting men open doors for them, saying please and thank you, ordering their own food, table etiquette with respect to utensils and napkins, waiting until everyone has their food before eating, praying over food and for others (servers, cooks, etc). Equipping them with such experiences will only empower them as they grow in independence becoming young women.
Due to my profession and other commitments, I don’t have unlimited time to spend with my daughters. So I have to be more intentional in my efforts. To maximize the dating experience of dads with our daughters, the following should be considered: an atmosphere of fun and freedom for them, efforts to cultivate their gifts and aspirations, assessing their emotional health, and modeling life skills.
Regardless of our home dynamics, whether both parents work outside the home or you are a single parent, validating your daughter’s individual value can be realized through dating them.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences dating your dad
or your husbands dating your daughter in the comments!
Yes! Daddy/daughter dates are so important!
Yes indeed! Thanks Cheyenne. E
Loved this post! I absolutely agree with everything you said. My first date was with my dad. He took me out to dinner at a nice restaurant and we just talked. He shared his hopes and dreams for me and told me how proud he was of the person I was becoming. It’s something I still remember and keep close to my heart.
Thanks Shani! I appreciate your encouragement and sharing how impactful your experiences were with your dad. What a blessing! E
This is awesome! I agree, fathers spending quality time with their daughters is imperative. I love that you spoke about opening the doors and just showing gentleman-like behavior. There’s certain behaviors that we want our daughters to expect while growing, and if we don’t make those behaviors a normal part of their life, then as they get older they may settle for any type of treatment. It’s said that Daddy’s are a girl’s first love. I can see this with my daughter for sure!
I love that my husband makes an effort to spend time with each of our children. You can’t win their hearts if you don’t stop and listen to what they say. 🙂
This is so sweet and such a good reminder. My husband is pretty awesome at doing a lot of fun things with our daughter. Making an outing intentional is a good reminder.
Sarah
Great post! My husband and I have two young daughters and they adore their dad. I think they would love daddy/daughter dates! Have you read the book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker? I think you would like it, she emphasizes how dads are more important in their daughters lives than many of them realize.
I love love that he took her to see Hidden Figures–what a great movie to start conversations like friendship, etc. And dating them starting young opens the door to so many skills to practice too! Just love this!
Daddy-daughter dates are a staple in our home too. My husband makes their dates fun and special, a set-apart time just for him and our daughter Elle. They’ve gone mini-golfing, watched movies in the theater, and had plenty of meals and treats outside of the home. When Adam isn’t able to have a full daddy-daughter date, he still tries to set time apart to grab a quick smoothie together, play Minecraft with Elle (they’re re-creating our home to scale in the game), or listen to her practice her piano. Intentional time is they key, I think. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And thank you both for being intentional parents.
I love this! You are a great father! Everything you said is so important. Little girls look up to their dads so much and it is wonderful when they communicate and share their feelings with them.
I didn’t grow up with my biological father and that makes me that much more grateful for my Godfather. We were -always- hanging out when I was younger and it has helped shaped the woman I am now. I hope my future husband takes the same initiative.
This is so beautiful and yes, very important for bonding time. Like you said, spending more quality time and being intentional with your efforts is key. My husband takes our daughter on dates as well and I love hearing about some of the conversations that have ensued. I think it’s important for young women to not just see life through mommy’s eyes, but get perspective from all angles. Dad’s view is SO important and sets them up to learn how girls/women should be treated so that they gain self confidence. Thanks for this great post! What a beautiful family you have. XOXO
This is so important and so adorable! I think it’s so good to have dates with your kids of the opposite sex. My mother/son dates are so great!
I LOVE this so much!! Amen! Amen! Seriously so important.
This is such a great idea! I think fathers have an invaluable role in their daughters life!!
Awww!! This is the sweetest! It’s SO important for girls to get that time with their dads. I remember my dad taking me out to breakfast when I was younger and our long talks about the Bible and other interesting things…such sweet memories!
Love this! Thank you for sharing! I totally agree! I love when my husband takes our daughters out, and they love the memories together!