5 Things Women Need To Know Before Dating

You have probably heard the saying ‘Hindsight is 20/20’ and for so many of us it often rings true. Especially when it comes to dating and trying to find the ‘One’. Yet, what if you could get the benefits of the lessons without having to go through some of the bad dating situations yourself? Well, you have come to the right place because I am going to share with you five things you need to know before dating.

Now I know that here at Beyond Committed I am usually all about wife life and marriage. Helping wives and wives-to-be gain the clarity, confidence, and connections they need to live the lives they want. However, after talking to and encouraging single women, I realized that to get to becoming a wife you have to first start dating.

I can remember when my husband, Eric, and I first started dating. It was far from picture-perfect. I can say now looking back that it was all God that got us together and to the point of marriage.

I had the fairy-tale of finding my perfect prince charming in my head. While Eric was just trying to enjoy life and college. While there is nothing wrong with either, if you want to be serious about dating and become a wife-to-be you are going to need a different perspective and the right tools to navigate the dating world.

To help you on this journey, here are five things you need to know before dating if you want to go from girlfriend to wife-to-be.

Before Dating, Know What Your Goal Is

Having goals is so important. As a woman, there are certain things you want to achieve personally and professionally. There are places you want to go, things you want to do, and experiences you want to have. Your dating life and relationships should be no different.

If your goal is to just date, keep things casual, and not get into anything serious that is okay. If your goal is to be in a serious relationship and become a wife that is okay too. However, these are two different goals and should affect who you choose to date and how you approach your potential relationships.

Being around and engaging with other like-minded people, both your friends and a potential mate, is so important. So make sure you are mindful and intentional about what your goals are and date someone who has similar goals.

Do Not Hold To Tightly Too Your ‘List’

Now let’s be honest, we all have in our minds our ‘ideal guy’. You know the guy that is a certain height, skin tone, has certain personality attributes, hobbies, and the list can go on and on. This list you have either created in your mind or have written down.

When dating, with every guy you meet you are often checking to see how many things that he checks off your list. While there is nothing wrong with having preferences, making sure you are compatible, and having true deal breakers is important. (Which I will talk about soon, so keep reading.)

It can be easy to dismiss a great guy, potentially your truly ideal guy because he is not all the things on your list. While dating and even in your future marriage, remember that no one is perfect and can fulfill every one of your wants and needs.

By not holding so tightly to your list of what you want your ideal guy to be it may open you up to the right relationship for you.

Before Getting Into A Relationship, Know Your Deal Breakers

Now I know, I just was talking about not holding too tightly on to your list of what your ideal guy is. While this is true and no one is perfect, there are some things that should not be ignored. Things I like to call deal-breakers.

Now, these are going to be different for every woman, just like the things on your list of who your ideal guy is will be different.

If you are a Christian woman, like me, then dating someone that shares your faith may be a deal-breaker for you.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

I know when I first started dating my now-husband, Eric, my faith was nowhere near where it is now. At the time we both knew God, but growing in our faith was not a priority. Yet, over the years without our shared faith, I know we would not have been married for the last 14 years and counting.

Over the years, while dating and married, we have helped to support and encourage each other in growing our relationship with God and building a God-centered marriage. If I had been intentional about making faith in God a deal-breaker, it would have saved me from trying to date other guys before my husband that did not end well.

Other deal-breakers may include how a guy treats others or his view on having kids. Things that over time can greatly affect your relationship now and the one you may hope to have in the future.

Regardless of what your deal-breakers are, it is important to know them before dating to save you from future heartache and avoidable relationship troubles.

Do Not Ignore Red Flags (Relationship Advice For All Women)

We have all seen them or been warned about them, yet when in relationships it is often easy to ignore them. You know those red flags. Red flags are those things that either happen or that someone does that either rubs you the wrong way, is something that you do not like, or something that may be a step in the wrong direction.

For example, you are just meeting a guy and while talking to you his focus is on everyone but you, especially the other women around you. Or he often tells you one thing, but he does not follow through.

Red flags are those things that may not be deal-breakers, but are things that you need to be mindful of and not ignore. Ignoring something does not make it go away or help to address it.

God has blessed you with so much wisdom and discernment, so make sure while you are dating and in any relationship to use it. Keeping your eyes open to things that may be red flags. Addressing the ones you can and making sure not to ignore the ones you see.

Before Dating, Seek God

Now, this is advice not just for dating, but for life. God should be at the center and your guide in life and relationships.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Psalms 37:5 (NLT)

There is just so much that we do not know and so much we are always learning about ourselves and others. This is why seeking God is so important as you navigate life and potential new relationships.

God can and will reveal things to you if you spend time with Him in your quiet time, in prayer, and even in worship. Things about a guy you want to date, things that may be deal-breakers, red flags to watch out for, and so many other things that can help you successfully navigate the dating world.

Now I know that nothing about dating, relationships, or marriage for that matter is going to be completely smooth sailing. There are going to be many bumps along the way. Yet, with the right dating advice and lessons learned you can be prepared to navigate the ups and downs successfully. Helping you to go from friend to girlfriend to wife-to-be.

I’d love to know what is the best piece of dating advice you have heard in the comments below!